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<?xml-stylesheet type="text/xsl" href="http://www.newworldview.com/utility/FeedStylesheets/rss.xsl" media="screen"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/"><channel><title>NWV Forums</title><link>http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/default.aspx</link><description /><dc:language>en-US</dc:language><generator>CommunityServer 2.1 SP3 (Build: 20423.1)</generator><item><title>Conscious Ten Percent Steers the Rest</title><link>http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/hawkins/archive/2008/10/10/conscious-ten-percent-steers-the-rest.aspx</link><pubDate>Fri, 10 Oct 2008 20:00:00 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">f1292266-046b-4ad1-80ea-7a7f107897f1:20582</guid><dc:creator>Your Faithful Reporter</dc:creator><slash:comments>0</slash:comments><description>Ten Percent Steers the Rest Chatting with Serge after the last radio show I mentioned my image of Kris’ recent description of our role in conscious creation. During the radio show Kris mentioned that our conscious thoughts where only the more ephemeral and surface layers of our belief structures. He went on to say that our conscious use of our imagination was likewise only the most superficial aspect of this deep and powerful activity. I described this to Serge, who often doesn't remember the details...(&lt;a href="http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/hawkins/archive/2008/10/10/conscious-ten-percent-steers-the-rest.aspx"&gt;read more&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;img src="http://www.newworldview.com/aggbug.aspx?PostID=20582" width="1" height="1"&gt;</description><category domain="http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/hawkins/archive/tags/Commentary/default.aspx">Commentary</category></item><item><title>What Are Prime Beliefs?</title><link>http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/hawkins/archive/2008/10/07/what-are-prime-beliefs.aspx</link><pubDate>Tue, 07 Oct 2008 19:21:00 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">f1292266-046b-4ad1-80ea-7a7f107897f1:20532</guid><dc:creator>Your Faithful Reporter</dc:creator><slash:comments>0</slash:comments><description>What Are Prime Beliefs? In describing prime beliefs we are not talking about the ideas that we entertain in our heads on a day-to-day basis. We are talking about assumptions and expectations that we might never think about consciously or even notice, because they are foundational to the construction of our experiences in this dimension. Even gravity and blue skys are not prime beliefs, but acquired beliefs in these terms, because we have created a reality that does not involve either - space travel....(&lt;a href="http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/hawkins/archive/2008/10/07/what-are-prime-beliefs.aspx"&gt;read more&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;img src="http://www.newworldview.com/aggbug.aspx?PostID=20532" width="1" height="1"&gt;</description><category domain="http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/hawkins/archive/tags/Mini-essay/default.aspx">Mini-essay</category><category domain="http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/hawkins/archive/tags/Toronto+Session/default.aspx">Toronto Session</category><category domain="http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/hawkins/archive/tags/beliefs/default.aspx">beliefs</category><category domain="http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/hawkins/archive/tags/material+creation+energies/default.aspx">material creation energies</category><category domain="http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/hawkins/archive/tags/distributed+processing/default.aspx">distributed processing</category><category domain="http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/hawkins/archive/tags/acquired+beliefs/default.aspx">acquired beliefs</category><category domain="http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/hawkins/archive/tags/space+travel/default.aspx">space travel</category><category domain="http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/hawkins/archive/tags/Prime+Beliefs/default.aspx">Prime Beliefs</category></item><item><title>Intent v. Intent</title><link>http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/standish/archive/2008/10/07/intent-v-intent.aspx</link><pubDate>Tue, 07 Oct 2008 17:40:00 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">f1292266-046b-4ad1-80ea-7a7f107897f1:20530</guid><dc:creator>Samantha</dc:creator><slash:comments>0</slash:comments><description>
 
  Normal
  0
  
 




&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;font size="3" face="verdana,geneva"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:Verdana;"&gt;Last night I dreamed that
a big man was attacking me. He looked a lot like the actor Adam Baldwin (the
guy who plays Casey on the television show “Chuck”), but with blondish hair. I
have had a fighter-survivor self-image of myself for most of my life, though
I’m in the process of changing this. Old habits, however, die hard. Under those
dream conditions, the fighter kicked in automatically. There was no way I was
going to make this easy for the guy. I grabbed a giant cast iron skillet and
started beating the crap out of him. &lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
I have this odd habit of analyzing my dreams while I’m in them, and I knew,
even while all this was going on, that I was dreaming, and I also knew that
what I was experiencing was being drummed up by me. At one point, I realized
that the more I fought the guy, the more I was going to have to fight. &lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
I thought, “Ah, this guy is an element of me, a projected image of things that
I’m fighting within myself.” &lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
And for a moment, I was really appreciative of the guy and what I was learning.
He paused as I was thinking this, looked me right in the eye and said, “You’ve
almost got it.” Then he went back to fighting me again. The symbolism was
almost poetic.&lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
This has been a tumultuous year. On the one hand, the emotion wave is kicking
my ass. On the other hand, I feel like the learning has been so accelerated
that I can’t be anything but thankful. For a few weeks now, I’ve been trying to
work out some issues that have disturbed me for an extended period of time.
I’ve been writing dissertations really, but not getting to the heart of the
matter until this morning. The dream framed it up nicely. It was a visual and
experiential depiction of the idea of one intent in conflict with another
intent. In other words, &lt;b&gt;what we find most threatening in life is when the
intent of another person is in conflict with your own intent.&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
This morning, I scribbled out some of the most common intents that are in
conflict with an individual’s desires:&lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;table style="border:medium none;border-collapse:collapse;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"&gt;
 &lt;tr&gt;
  &lt;td style="border:0.5pt solid windowtext;padding:0in 5.4pt;width:2.25in;"&gt;
  &lt;p class="MsoHeading9"&gt;&lt;font size="3" face="verdana,geneva"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:Verdana;"&gt;Threatening Intent&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
  &lt;/td&gt;
  &lt;td style="border-style:solid solid solid none;border-color:windowtext windowtext windowtext -moz-use-text-color;border-width:0.5pt 0.5pt 0.5pt medium;padding:0in 5.4pt;width:2.25in;"&gt;
  &lt;p class="MsoHeading9"&gt;&lt;font size="3" face="verdana,geneva"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:Verdana;"&gt;Desire&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
  &lt;p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center;" align="center"&gt;&lt;font size="3" face="verdana,geneva"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;b&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:Verdana;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
  &lt;/td&gt;
 &lt;/tr&gt;
 &lt;tr&gt;
  &lt;td style="border-style:none solid solid;border-color:-moz-use-text-color windowtext windowtext;border-width:medium 0.5pt 0.5pt;padding:0in 5.4pt;width:2.25in;"&gt;
  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;font size="3" face="verdana,geneva"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:Verdana;"&gt;“I want to kill you.”&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;font size="3" face="verdana,geneva"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;span style="font-family:Verdana;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
  &lt;/td&gt;
  &lt;td style="border-style:none solid solid none;border-color:-moz-use-text-color windowtext windowtext -moz-use-text-color;border-width:medium 0.5pt 0.5pt medium;padding:0in 5.4pt;width:2.25in;"&gt;
  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;font size="3" face="verdana,geneva"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:Verdana;"&gt;“I want to live.”&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
  &lt;/td&gt;
 &lt;/tr&gt;
 &lt;tr&gt;
  &lt;td style="border-style:none solid solid;border-color:-moz-use-text-color windowtext windowtext;border-width:medium 0.5pt 0.5pt;padding:0in 5.4pt;width:2.25in;"&gt;
  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;font size="3" face="verdana,geneva"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:Verdana;"&gt;“I want to hurt you.”&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
  &lt;/td&gt;
  &lt;td style="border-style:none solid solid none;border-color:-moz-use-text-color windowtext windowtext -moz-use-text-color;border-width:medium 0.5pt 0.5pt medium;padding:0in 5.4pt;width:2.25in;"&gt;
  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;font size="3" face="verdana,geneva"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:Verdana;"&gt;“I want to be healthy
  and well.”&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;font size="3" face="verdana,geneva"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;span style="font-family:Verdana;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
  &lt;/td&gt;
 &lt;/tr&gt;
 &lt;tr&gt;
  &lt;td style="border-style:none solid solid;border-color:-moz-use-text-color windowtext windowtext;border-width:medium 0.5pt 0.5pt;padding:0in 5.4pt;width:2.25in;"&gt;
  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;font size="3" face="verdana,geneva"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:Verdana;"&gt;“I want to imprison
  you.”&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;font size="3" face="verdana,geneva"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;span style="font-family:Verdana;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
  &lt;/td&gt;
  &lt;td style="border-style:none solid solid none;border-color:-moz-use-text-color windowtext windowtext -moz-use-text-color;border-width:medium 0.5pt 0.5pt medium;padding:0in 5.4pt;width:2.25in;"&gt;
  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;font size="3" face="verdana,geneva"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:Verdana;"&gt;“I want to be free.”&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
  &lt;/td&gt;
 &lt;/tr&gt;
 &lt;tr&gt;
  &lt;td style="border-style:none solid solid;border-color:-moz-use-text-color windowtext windowtext;border-width:medium 0.5pt 0.5pt;padding:0in 5.4pt;width:2.25in;"&gt;
  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;font size="3" face="verdana,geneva"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:Verdana;"&gt;“I want you to suffer because
  I’m suffering.”&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;font size="3" face="verdana,geneva"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;span style="font-family:Verdana;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
  &lt;/td&gt;
  &lt;td style="border-style:none solid solid none;border-color:-moz-use-text-color windowtext windowtext -moz-use-text-color;border-width:medium 0.5pt 0.5pt medium;padding:0in 5.4pt;width:2.25in;"&gt;
  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;font size="3" face="verdana,geneva"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:Verdana;"&gt;“I want to be happy.”&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
  &lt;/td&gt;
 &lt;/tr&gt;
 &lt;tr&gt;
  &lt;td style="border-style:none solid solid;border-color:-moz-use-text-color windowtext windowtext;border-width:medium 0.5pt 0.5pt;padding:0in 5.4pt;width:2.25in;"&gt;
  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;font size="3" face="verdana,geneva"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:Verdana;"&gt;“I want you to take my
  burdens off my hands.”&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
  &lt;/td&gt;
  &lt;td style="border-style:none solid solid none;border-color:-moz-use-text-color windowtext windowtext -moz-use-text-color;border-width:medium 0.5pt 0.5pt medium;padding:0in 5.4pt;width:2.25in;"&gt;
  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;font size="3" face="verdana,geneva"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:Verdana;"&gt;“I want to be
  burden-free and seek my own personal pleasure.”&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;font size="3" face="verdana,geneva"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;span style="font-family:Verdana;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
  &lt;/td&gt;
 &lt;/tr&gt;
 &lt;tr&gt;
  &lt;td style="border-style:none solid solid;border-color:-moz-use-text-color windowtext windowtext;border-width:medium 0.5pt 0.5pt;padding:0in 5.4pt;width:2.25in;"&gt;
  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;font size="3" face="verdana,geneva"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:Verdana;"&gt;“I want you to devote
  yourself to the things I think are important.”&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;font size="3" face="verdana,geneva"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;span style="font-family:Verdana;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
  &lt;/td&gt;
  &lt;td style="border-style:none solid solid none;border-color:-moz-use-text-color windowtext windowtext -moz-use-text-color;border-width:medium 0.5pt 0.5pt medium;padding:0in 5.4pt;width:2.25in;"&gt;
  &lt;p class="MsoNormal"&gt;&lt;font size="3" face="verdana,geneva"&gt;&lt;span style="font-family:Verdana;"&gt;“I want to do what I
  want when I want.”&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
  &lt;/td&gt;
 &lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;/table&gt;

&lt;font size="3" face="verdana,geneva"&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:12pt;font-family:Verdana;"&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
The threat goes up, supposedly, the greater the number of people who are
against your desire. The idea is that people can gang up on you and impose
their will on you. So, in order to express your own freedom, you have to fight.
Well, in my dream, that didn’t work too well. The more I fought, the more I had
to fight. The only break in the fighting was when I had the realization that I
was fighting myself, and then later in the dream when I realized that I needed
to be kind to myself, at which point the guy stopped fighting me altogether and
recommended that I treat myself to a spa, which is something I’m not likely to
do, but I got the message: Be nice to yourself.&lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
In the dream, when I stopped opposing the other guy’s intent, things got
better. The more opposition I expressed, the greater the intensity of the fighting.
I think this is a perfect expression of the issues of daily life.&lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
Now, recently I read an Abraham quote that said that a million people could be
against you, but their intent will have no effect on you unless you oppose them,
and I’ve wondered how that could be. If a million people wanted me to do
something, couldn’t they make me by sheer physical force? Certainly that’s
something we see in the movies all the time. However, I’ve noticed that in
actual daily experience it doesn’t necessarily work that way and that, perhaps,
Abraham knows something about the nature of reality that’s not understood by
most moviemakers. Because I’ve noticed an awful lot of exceptions to that rule
(i.e. that physical might wins the day).&lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
All morning, I’ve been thinking about this. How is it possible that my little
puny intent could be more powerful than a million people opposing my little
puny intent? I kept looking at the schematic above, and I thinking, “There must
be something in the nature of their opposition that is &lt;i&gt;weak&lt;/i&gt;, and there
must be something in the nature of my intent that is &lt;i&gt;strong&lt;/i&gt;, otherwise
the idea is nonsense.” So, I thought about it. What is it when someone wants
you to do something? Finally, it hit me, and it seemed so obvious. All the
statements in the left-hand column are declarations of lack. These are all
people demonstrating, quite clearly, that they’re in a state of need. &lt;b&gt;They
have to get other people in certain positions (dead, hurt, suffering, locked
up, working, behaving) before they can feel satisfied.&lt;/b&gt; &lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
The day before I’d been doing a drawing based on a metaphor by Emmet Fox. Emmet
Fox was your quintessential stadium rock preacher from the early part of the
last century. He was highly intuitive, extremely popular, and knew a great deal
about the nature of energy. He described the way most people use energy as
follows. They stand on a garden hose and wonder why no water comes out. The
idea was that the water is your energy, and you’re the one controlling how much
of that power you allow in your life. His advice was to stop standing on the
hose.&lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
So, I drew a picture of a bunch of hoses, representing individuals, with one
drop of water coming out of the hose, and then on the opposite side of the page
I drew one hose with a massive amount of water bursting out of it. The idea was
that the feeling of negativity was a person clamping down on that hose due to
the ideas they were holding and thereby only allowing a tiny droplet of water
(energy) to flow through. And that &lt;b&gt;just because you get a massive number of
people together, if they’re all in a state of negativity (closing up that free
flow of energy) that does &lt;i&gt;not&lt;/i&gt; magnify their power. It makes them a group
of drips.&lt;/b&gt; This, I reasoned, was how one individual, allowing the energy to
flow through (being in a state of joy) could be more powerful than a million
who were in conflict with that individual.&lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
We’ve been brought up to believe that criticism, blame, anger, hatred, lying,
mal intent, disapproval, and the withdrawal of love are all expressions of
power when these are the expressions of drips. That growling, nasty feeling is
supposed to be indicative of that clamping down on our own natural ability to
achieve what we want. The rush of play, humor, joy, pleasure, confidence, love,
and fun, in contrast, is supposed to be the affirmation that we are in full
possession and expression of power. Cultural habits tell you otherwise, but
your own feelings carry the real message.&lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
In the old “Seinfeld” television show, the character George decides one day to
do the exact opposite of everything he’s ever had the impulse to do in his
life, and instantly his life works perfectly. I feel like I have to do the same
thing. I’ve trained myself, simply through life in this culture, that
expressions of negativity are powerful and expressions of positivity are weak.
Now, I’ve got the monumental task of reversing those associations. When I look
out over my life and what I’ve lived I can only believe that I have had the
natural order reversed, and as foreign as it is to be happy when other people
are suffering, to be optimistic when other people are pessimistic, to intend
well when other people intend harm to me in return, I can’t help but feel that
these are the true expressions of power.&lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
Quite frankly, though implementing this is going to take some time, I no longer
see the advantage of being a drip. Furthremore, the threat of other drips, even
in massive quantities, is looking less and less menacing. Joy and love and
messing around is starting to have real appeal. It’s starting to look like
legitimate, natural, actual POWER. &lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:12pt;font-family:'Times New Roman';"&gt;&lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
&lt;br&gt;
&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;img src="http://www.newworldview.com/aggbug.aspx?PostID=20530" width="1" height="1"&gt;</description><category domain="http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/standish/archive/tags/desire/default.aspx">desire</category><category domain="http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/standish/archive/tags/intent/default.aspx">intent</category><category domain="http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/standish/archive/tags/power/default.aspx">power</category><category domain="http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/standish/archive/tags/threat/default.aspx">threat</category><category domain="http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/standish/archive/tags/freedom/default.aspx">freedom</category></item><item><title>Anxious About Elisabeth Hasselbeck on the View</title><link>http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/hawkins/archive/2008/10/06/anxious-about-elisabeth-hasselbeck-on-the-view.aspx</link><pubDate>Mon, 06 Oct 2008 23:03:00 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">f1292266-046b-4ad1-80ea-7a7f107897f1:20501</guid><dc:creator>Your Faithful Reporter</dc:creator><slash:comments>0</slash:comments><description>Watching Elizabeth today made me feel anxious and watching the clip here made me feel it again. Anxious and wanting to respond. I am happy for her projected arc into the Republican pantheon, and she IS good. She argues right wing ideas with a passionate and indomitable spirit of no-holds-barred debate on issues that seem to really matter to her. It’s not her values that I quarrel with, it’s her choices about how to express and fulfill those values. I’m all for country, and supporting the troops,...(&lt;a href="http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/hawkins/archive/2008/10/06/anxious-about-elisabeth-hasselbeck-on-the-view.aspx"&gt;read more&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;img src="http://www.newworldview.com/aggbug.aspx?PostID=20501" width="1" height="1"&gt;</description><category domain="http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/hawkins/archive/tags/Commentary/default.aspx">Commentary</category></item><item><title /><link>http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/waggoner/archive/2008/10/06/20541.aspx</link><pubDate>Mon, 06 Oct 2008 14:48:00 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">f1292266-046b-4ad1-80ea-7a7f107897f1:20541</guid><dc:creator>Robert Waggoner</dc:creator><slash:comments>0</slash:comments><description>For a list of Robert Waggoner's upcoming events and to submit your lucid dream questions and comments, please visit Robert at his website, LucidAdvice.com ....(&lt;a href="http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/waggoner/archive/2008/10/06/20541.aspx"&gt;read more&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;img src="http://www.newworldview.com/aggbug.aspx?PostID=20541" width="1" height="1"&gt;</description></item><item><title>Newsletter, October 2008</title><link>http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/newworldviewnews/archive/2008/10/03/newsletter-october-2008.aspx</link><pubDate>Fri, 03 Oct 2008 18:46:00 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">f1292266-046b-4ad1-80ea-7a7f107897f1:20423</guid><dc:creator>Paul M. Helfrich</dc:creator><slash:comments>0</slash:comments><description>&lt;P&gt;&lt;B&gt;Happy October! We welcomed over 3,400 unique visitors from&amp;nbsp;93 countries and&amp;nbsp;48 new subscribers to our forums in September&lt;/B&gt;! There are now 1540 subscribers who enjoy the Forums, Blogs, Downloads, Library, Toolbox, and other free resources.&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P&gt;We continue to explore the legacy of Seth, Jane Roberts, and Rob Butts, the channeling phenomenon, and leading-edge integral thought on the world's only conscious creation Internet Portal (see our &lt;STRONG&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/new_world_over_view.html"&gt;NewWorldOverView&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/STRONG&gt;).&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P&gt;Did you know you can &lt;B&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/contribute.html"&gt;Contribute to NWV&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/B&gt; in eight easy ways? We rely on your support and participation!&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;STRONG&gt;In This Issue:&amp;nbsp; &lt;A class="" title="RSS Feed" href="http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/newworldviewnews/rss.aspx"&gt;&lt;IMG alt=RSS src="http://www.newworldview.com/library/newsletter/images/securerss.gif" align=baseline border=0&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/STRONG&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;UL&gt;
&lt;LI&gt;New on NewWorldView &lt;/LI&gt;
&lt;LI&gt;Sethnet Journal &lt;/LI&gt;
&lt;LI&gt;Upcoming Events &lt;/LI&gt;&lt;/UL&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;IMG alt="New on NewWorldView" src="http://www.newworldview.com/library/newsletter/images/newsletter_NewonNewWorldView.gif" align=baseline border=0&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;TABLE class="" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0&gt;

&lt;TR&gt;
&lt;TD class=""&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;IMG style="WIDTH:72px;HEIGHT:34px;" height=34 alt="Google Custom Search" hspace=4 src="http://www.newworldview.com/images/google_searchlogo_sm.jpg" width=72 align=left border=0&gt; We recently added &lt;A href="http://newworldview.com/NewWorldView_search.html"&gt;&lt;B&gt;Google Custom Search&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt; so you can search NWV in seconds! Search html, pdf, blogs, forums, and more. It's never been easier to find something on NWV (available on the upper nav-bar on the right side).&lt;/P&gt;&lt;/TD&gt;&lt;/TR&gt;
&lt;TR&gt;
&lt;TD class=""&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;IMG style="WIDTH:72px;HEIGHT:71px;" height=71 alt="In Memoriam" hspace=4 src="http://www.newworldview.com/images/Rob_painting_sm.jpg" width=72 align=left border=0&gt; Watch the enhanced slideshow on YouTube: &lt;A href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUaNLBcZz-Y" target=_BLANK&gt;&lt;B&gt;In Memoriam Robert F. Butts&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt; played at the Colorado Seth Conference by Paul Helfrich. (If you have a broadband connection, select "watch in high quality" for best results)&lt;/P&gt;&lt;/TD&gt;&lt;/TR&gt;
&lt;TR&gt;
&lt;TD class=""&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;IMG style="WIDTH:72px;HEIGHT:71px;" height=71 alt="Colorado Seth Conference" hspace=4 src="http://www.essence-of-rose.com/images/colorado_seth.gif" width=72 align=left border=0&gt; Check out Paul Helfrich's review of the the &lt;B&gt;Colorado Seth Conference, September 11-15, 2008&lt;/B&gt;. Over 100 souls gathered for &lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/helfrich/archive/2008/09/19/four-days-of-peace-love-and-rock-n-soul.aspx"&gt;&lt;B&gt;Four Days of Peace, Love, and Rock'n'soul&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;.&lt;/P&gt;&lt;/TD&gt;&lt;/TR&gt;
&lt;TR&gt;
&lt;TD class=""&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;IMG style="WIDTH:72px;HEIGHT:71px;" height=71 alt="Essence of Rose website" hspace=4 src="http://www.essence-of-rose.com/images/halloween_workshop_punky.jpg" width=72 align=left border=0&gt; NewWorldView Presents: &lt;STRONG&gt;Halloweany Group Session &amp;amp; Face Your Fears, Follow Your Intent Workshop, Castaic, California, Fri., Oct. 31, Sat. Nov. 1, 2008&lt;/STRONG&gt; What do channeling, integral, and Halloween have in common? A veddy, veddy scary yet fun weekend with the essence of Rose! Come for a group session, a one day workshop, or both. &lt;STRONG&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.essence-of-rose.com/workshops/" target=_BLANK&gt;Get the gory details&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/STRONG&gt;!&lt;/P&gt;&lt;/TD&gt;&lt;/TR&gt;
&lt;TR&gt;
&lt;TD class=""&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;IMG style="WIDTH:72px;HEIGHT:71px;" height=71 alt="Tom Sherlock" hspace=4 src="http://www.newworldview.com/images/bio_tom.jpg" width=72 align=left border=0&gt; &lt;B&gt;Please welcome Tom Sherlock&lt;/B&gt; as the new moderator for the &lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/forums/32/ShowForum.aspx"&gt;&lt;B&gt;Inner Visions Journal&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;! Also, many many thanks to Ellen Gilbert who spent seven years sharing her wisdom and insights there. We wish her well on her new adventures in consciousness!&lt;/P&gt;&lt;/TD&gt;&lt;/TR&gt;
&lt;TR&gt;
&lt;TD class=""&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;IMG style="WIDTH:72px;HEIGHT:71px;" height=71 alt="Nardine Neilson" hspace=4 src="http://www.newworldview.com/images/bio_nardine.jpg" width=72 align=left border=0&gt; &lt;B&gt;Please welcome Nardine Neilson&lt;/B&gt; as the new moderator for &lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/forums/1702/ShowForum.aspx"&gt;&lt;B&gt;The RoseVine&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;, a new forum in which to explore the Teachings of Rose channeled by Joanne Helfrich. Connect with others and share your personal experiences, insights and questions, or simply rest-in-Rose a while, as you discover your blissful way of spirit. So do so!&lt;/P&gt;&lt;/TD&gt;&lt;/TR&gt;
&lt;TR&gt;
&lt;TD class=""&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;IMG style="WIDTH:72px;HEIGHT:71px;" height=71 alt="Brent Marchant" hspace=4 src="http://www.newworldview.com/images/bio_brent.jpg" width=72 align=left border=0&gt; &lt;B&gt;Please welcome Brent Marchant&lt;/B&gt; joined our ranks of NWV bloggers this month with &lt;A class="" title="Get the Picture" href="http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/marchant/"&gt;&lt;B&gt;Get the Picture: Conscious Creation Goes to the Movies&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;. As a lifelong movie fan and longtime Seth reader, Brent's unique fusion of these subjects simultaneously provides an alternative way of looking at film and an entertaining, user-friendly perspective on conscious creation.&lt;/P&gt;&lt;/TD&gt;&lt;/TR&gt;
&lt;TR&gt;
&lt;TD class=""&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;IMG style="WIDTH:72px;HEIGHT:71px;" height=71 alt="Kosmic Cocktail Lounge" hspace=4 src="http://www.newworldview.com/community/images/kosmic_cocktail80c.jpg" width=72 align=left border=0&gt; The &lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/forums/321/ShowForum.aspx"&gt;&lt;B&gt;Kosmic Cocktail Lounge&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt; is looking for&amp;nbsp;a new moderator! Basic responsibilities include helping folks use forum features, promote conversations, approve new subscriber posts, and more. Experience as a moderator on a major online community can be a stepping stone for career opportunities in the commercial sector, or just a fun hobby. For more info, please reply to &lt;A href="mailto:webfolk@newworldview.com"&gt;&lt;B&gt;webfolk@newworldview.com&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;.&lt;/P&gt;&lt;/TD&gt;&lt;/TR&gt;
&lt;TR&gt;
&lt;TD class=""&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;IMG style="WIDTH:72px;HEIGHT:71px;" height=71 alt="Sue Williams" hspace=4 src="http://www.newworldview.com/images/bio_sue.jpg" width=72 align=left border=0&gt;Check out the new &lt;STRONG&gt;&lt;A class="" title="Index of Eleven Seth Books" href="http://www.newworldview.com/library/Williams_S_Seth-Index.html"&gt;Index of Eleven Seth Books&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/STRONG&gt; by Susan R. Williams. She has written an Index for &lt;EM&gt;&lt;STRONG&gt;&lt;A class="" title="The Early Sessions Index" href="http://www.newworldview.com/library/Williams_Susan_Early_Sessions_Index.html"&gt;The Early Sessions&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/STRONG&gt;&lt;/EM&gt;, and is working on one for &lt;EM&gt;&lt;STRONG&gt;The Personal Sessions&lt;/STRONG&gt;&lt;/EM&gt;.&lt;BR&gt;&lt;/P&gt;&lt;/TD&gt;&lt;/TR&gt;
&lt;TR&gt;
&lt;TD class=""&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;IMG style="WIDTH:72px;HEIGHT:71px;" height=71 alt="Paul Helfrich" hspace=4 src="http://www.newworldview.com/images/bio_paul.jpg" width=72 align=left border=0&gt;Read and listen to &lt;STRONG&gt;&lt;A title="The Channeling Phenomenon" href="http://www.newworldview.com/integral.html#ITC"&gt;The Channeling Phenomenon&lt;/A&gt;: A Presentation at the 1st Biennial Integral Theory Conference&lt;/STRONG&gt; by Paul M. Helfrich.&lt;BR&gt;&lt;/P&gt;&lt;/TD&gt;&lt;/TR&gt;
&lt;TR&gt;
&lt;TD class=""&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;IMG style="WIDTH:72px;HEIGHT:71px;" height=71 alt="NWV Blogs" hspace=4 src="http://www.newworldview.com/images/blog.jpg" width=72 align=left border=0&gt;It was a banner month for &lt;B&gt;&lt;A class="" title="NWV Bloggers" href="http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/default.aspx"&gt;NWV bloggers&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;—John McNally, William Marshall, Paul Helfrich, Samantha Standish, and John Hawkins posted a wide variety of topics. Also, if you write a conscious creation-related blog and would like exposure to a wider audience, you can add it to our &lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/default.aspx"&gt;&lt;B&gt;blogroll&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;. Please reply to &lt;A href="mailto:webfolk@newworldview.com"&gt;&lt;B&gt;webfolk@newworldview.com&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;.&lt;/P&gt;&lt;/TD&gt;&lt;/TR&gt;
&lt;TR&gt;
&lt;TD class=""&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;IMG style="WIDTH:72px;HEIGHT:71px;" height=71 alt=RSS hspace=4 src="http://www.newworldview.com/images/rss.jpg" width=72 align=left border=0&gt;Do you know &lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/languages/en-US/docs/faq.aspx#72"&gt;&lt;B&gt;how to use our RSS feeds?&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt; They're easier than email, and allow you to get automagical updates of new blogs, photos, and forum posts in your web browser!&lt;BR&gt;&lt;BR&gt;&lt;/P&gt;&lt;/TD&gt;&lt;/TR&gt;&lt;/TABLE&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;IMG alt="Sethnet Journal Banner" src="http://www.newworldview.com/library/newsletter/images/newsletter_SethnetJournal.gif" align=baseline border=0&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P&gt;The&amp;nbsp;October&lt;A class="" title="Sethnet Journal" href="http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/sethnetjournal/"&gt;&lt;STRONG&gt; Issue of Sethnet Journal&lt;/STRONG&gt;&lt;/A&gt; is now available for your reading pleasure - Paul Helfrich, Don Johnson, John McNally (Chief Editor), Carmen Silvers, and Nardine Neilson.&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;IMG title="Sethnet Journal" style="WIDTH:72px;HEIGHT:71px;" height=71 alt="Sethnet Journal" hspace=4 src="http://www.newworldview.com/images/bio_Seth.jpg" width=72 align=left border=0&gt;&amp;nbsp;~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~&amp;nbsp;&lt;BR&gt;&amp;nbsp;Contents: Vol. 48,&amp;nbsp;October 1, 2008&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/library/journal/SNJ.xml"&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;BR&gt;&amp;nbsp;~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;UL&gt;
&lt;LI&gt;&lt;STRONG&gt;Artwork: Spivy&amp;nbsp; by Jan Rathschmidt&lt;/STRONG&gt;&lt;/LI&gt;
&lt;LI&gt;&lt;STRONG&gt;Reflections: Happy Tenth Birthday, Sethnet! by Paul Helfrich &lt;/STRONG&gt;&lt;/LI&gt;
&lt;LI&gt;&lt;STRONG&gt;Happy Anniversary Sethnet by Nardine Neilson &lt;/STRONG&gt;&lt;/LI&gt;
&lt;LI&gt;&lt;STRONG&gt;A Dream, a Question, and a Promise: Chapter 7 by Pamela Gibson&lt;/STRONG&gt;&lt;/LI&gt;
&lt;LI&gt;&lt;STRONG&gt;He Dreamt by Michaela Sefler&lt;/STRONG&gt;&lt;/LI&gt;&lt;/UL&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;STRONG&gt;Get published!&lt;/STRONG&gt; Sethnet Journal also accepts submissions of articles, poetry, art, and fiction as well as Seth/consciousness-related announcements. Send submissions and inquiries to: &lt;A href="mailto:SNJ@newworldview.com"&gt;&lt;STRONG&gt;SNJ@newworldview.com&lt;/STRONG&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;IMG alt="Upcoming Events Banner" src="http://www.newworldview.com/library/newsletter/images/newsletter_UpcomingEvents.gif" align=baseline border=0&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;STRONG&gt;Rose Potluck Dinners&lt;/STRONG&gt; &lt;BR&gt;&lt;STRONG&gt;Saturday October 11, 2008&lt;/STRONG&gt; &lt;BR&gt;&lt;STRONG&gt;Saturday November 22, 2008&lt;/STRONG&gt; &lt;BR&gt;Castaic, California &lt;BR&gt;Virtual (dial-in) &lt;A href="http://www.essence-of-rose.com/more-info/"&gt;&lt;B&gt;(Get Details)&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;STRONG&gt;Kris Radio, Workshops, and Sessions&lt;/STRONG&gt; &lt;BR&gt;&lt;STRONG&gt;October, 2008&lt;/STRONG&gt; &lt;BR&gt;Virtual (dial-in)&amp;nbsp; &lt;A href="http://krischronicles.com/"&gt;&lt;STRONG&gt;(Get Details)&lt;/STRONG&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;STRONG&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/STRONG&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;B&gt;Dr. Don Beck, Spirals, Spirals Everywhere&lt;/B&gt; &lt;BR&gt;With Dr. Beck now embarking on his 5th trip to Israel and Palestine, and similar events in the planning this year for London, several destinations in the Netherlands, Iceland, Brazil, Chile, Seoul, Korea and the Czech Republic, please mark your calendars for these following training events: &lt;A href="http://spiraldynamics.net/training.shtml"&gt;&lt;B&gt;(Get Details)&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;B&gt;Elias Group Session &lt;BR&gt;Saturday, October 25, 2008&lt;/B&gt; &lt;BR&gt;11:00 AM &lt;BR&gt;Brattleboro, Vermont &lt;A href="http://www.eliasforum.org/public_sessions.html" target=_BLANK&gt;&lt;B&gt;(Get Details)&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;STRONG&gt;Rose Group Session &amp;amp; Workshop&lt;/STRONG&gt;&lt;BR&gt;&lt;STRONG&gt;Halloweany Group Session: Friday, October 31, 2008&lt;BR&gt;Face Your Fears, Follow Your Intent Workshop: Saturday, November 1, 2008&lt;/STRONG&gt;&lt;BR&gt;Castaic, California &lt;STRONG&gt;&lt;A class="" title="Rose Workshops" href="http://www.essence-of-rose.com/workshops/" target=_blank&gt;(Get Details)&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/STRONG&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;STRONG&gt;Seth Conference in Stuttgart, Germany&amp;nbsp;&lt;BR&gt;Oct. 31-Nov. 2 &lt;BR&gt;Cost: 125 Euro &lt;BR&gt;&lt;/STRONG&gt;Person to contact:&amp;nbsp;&lt;A href="mailto:MirjamS@sethfreunde.org"&gt;MirjamS@sethfreunde.org&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;STRONG&gt;Fall Seth Workshops By Rick Stack&lt;/STRONG&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;STRONG&gt;Houston, TX - Sat Oct 4th &amp;amp; Sun Oct 5th, 2008 &lt;BR&gt;&lt;/STRONG&gt;The Seth, Dreams, and Out of Body Exploration Workshop &lt;A href="http://www.sethcenter.com/pages/intensive-2008-1.html" target=_BLANK&gt;&lt;B&gt;(Get Details)&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;STRONG&gt;New York, NY - Sat Oct 25th &amp;amp; Sun Oct 26th, 2008 &lt;BR&gt;&lt;/STRONG&gt;The Seth Intensive Transformational Workshop &lt;A href="http://www.sethcenter.com/pages/outofbody-2008-1.html" target=_BLANK&gt;&lt;B&gt;(Get Details)&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;STRONG&gt;San Francisco, CA - Sat. Nov 15th &amp;amp; Sun. Nov 16th, 2008&lt;/STRONG&gt; &lt;BR&gt;The Seth, Dreams, and Out of Body Exploration Workshop) &lt;A href="http://www.sethcenter.com/pages/intensive-2008-1.html" target=_BLANK&gt;&lt;B&gt;(Get Details)&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P&gt;For information on ongoing events, and to share information on yours, visit the &lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/calendar.html"&gt;&lt;STRONG&gt;Conscious Creation Calendar&lt;/STRONG&gt;&lt;/A&gt;. If you have a regular Seth, Elias, Kris, Rose, Wilber, Spiral Dynamics, Integral, or related group event, you can now post or update your own &lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/meetups.html"&gt;&lt;STRONG&gt;Meetups&lt;/STRONG&gt;&lt;/A&gt; info!&lt;/P&gt;&lt;STRONG&gt;
&lt;HR&gt;
&lt;/STRONG&gt;
&lt;P&gt;You received this email because you are subscribed to the NewWorldView mailing list. To remove an address, reply with UNSUB in the subject line. To update your information, use our &lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/registration_form.html"&gt;Register&lt;/A&gt; page.&lt;/P&gt;&lt;img src="http://www.newworldview.com/aggbug.aspx?PostID=20423" width="1" height="1"&gt;</description><category domain="http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/newworldviewnews/archive/tags/Newsletter/default.aspx">Newsletter</category></item><item><title>Sethnet Journal 10th Anniversary Issue</title><link>http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/sethnetjournal/archive/2008/10/02/sethnet-journal-10th-anniversary-issue.aspx</link><pubDate>Thu, 02 Oct 2008 16:02:00 GMT</pubDate><guid isPermaLink="false">f1292266-046b-4ad1-80ea-7a7f107897f1:20401</guid><dc:creator>John McNally</dc:creator><slash:comments>0</slash:comments><description>&lt;P&gt;A monthly e-zine that highlights the creative energy of over 1,542 souls exploring the work of Jane Roberts and Rob Butts.&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color=#000000 size=+1&gt;Volume Forty Eight&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;IMG title="Spivy by Jim Rathschmidt" alt="Spivy by Jim Rathschmidt" src="http://www.parabolicmirror.com/images/spivysm.jpg"&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN:0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color=#000000&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="FONT-SIZE:10pt;FONT-FAMILY:Arial;"&gt;In This Issue:&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN:0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color=#000000&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="FONT-SIZE:10pt;FONT-FAMILY:Arial;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN:0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color=#000000&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="FONT-SIZE:10pt;FONT-FAMILY:Arial;"&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;Reflections: Happy Tenth Birthday, Sethnet!&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="FONT-SIZE:10pt;FONT-FAMILY:Arial;"&gt; by Paul Helfrich&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN:0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color=#000000&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="FONT-SIZE:10pt;FONT-FAMILY:Arial;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN:0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color=#000000&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="FONT-SIZE:10pt;FONT-FAMILY:Arial;"&gt;Happy Anniversary Sethnet&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="FONT-SIZE:10pt;FONT-FAMILY:Arial;"&gt; by Nardine Neilson&lt;B&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN:0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color=#000000&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="FONT-SIZE:10pt;FONT-FAMILY:Arial;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN:0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color=#000000&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="FONT-SIZE:10pt;FONT-FAMILY:Arial;"&gt;A Dream, a Question, and a Promise: Chapter 7&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="FONT-SIZE:10pt;FONT-FAMILY:Arial;"&gt; by Pamela Gibson&lt;BR&gt;&lt;BR&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN:0cm 0cm 0pt;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color=#000000&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="FONT-SIZE:10pt;FONT-FAMILY:Arial;"&gt;He Dreamt&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="FONT-SIZE:10pt;FONT-FAMILY:Arial;"&gt; by Michaela Sefler&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
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&lt;P&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;B&gt;Reflections: Happy Tenth Birthday, Sethnet! &lt;/B&gt;&lt;BR&gt;by Paul Helfrich&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;






	
	

&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;SPAN class=sd-abs-pos style="LEFT:0.02in;WIDTH:303px;POSITION:absolute;TOP:0.01in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;IMG height=44 hspace=5 src="http://www.parabolicmirror.com/images/SEL.jpg" width=499 align=left&gt; &lt;BR&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;“&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;&lt;I&gt;What a long, strange trip it’s been.”&lt;/I&gt; ~ Grateful Dead&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Looking back over the past decade, I continue to enjoy the adventures in consciousness Joanne and I agreed to pursue when we moved to Castaic, California to explore the Elias phenomenon (an authentic expansion of the Seth. See&lt;B&gt; &lt;/B&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.eliasforum.org/intro/Seth_Elias.html"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;A Seth, Elias Comparative Overview&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;, 2001) in January 1998.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;&lt;IMG height=36 hspace=5 src="http://www.parabolicmirror.com/images/onelist.jpg" width=72 align=left&gt;Previously, I had been involved with online community building in my science museum work. So it was a natural move in May 1998 to volunteer to host the email list for Seth Network Int’l. Founders Lynda Dahl and Stan Ulkowski were all for it. We selected Onelist.com as a host since other conscious creation communities were using it to stake a foothold in cyberspace, and Sethnet opened its doors on October 1, 1998.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;SPAN class=sd-abs-pos style="LEFT:0.02in;WIDTH:181px;POSITION:absolute;TOP:3.65in;"&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;&lt;IMG style="WIDTH:194px;HEIGHT:27px;" hspace=5 src="http://www.parabolicmirror.com/images/yahoo.jpg" align=left&gt;The dot.com boom was on, and the online community business saw merger after merger. Sethnet was grandfathered into eGroups.com, then Yahoo! Groups, where it spent many years. It was a lot of work to manage, as subscribers constantly needed help with the format and various ins and outs of using each new software platform. So I built a supporting website to help with that (see Appendix).&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;The initial rules of engagement, as laid down by Lynda and me, were simple. The idea was to engage “simple regard” for each other when posting. The list was self-organizing, meaning that it policed itself without much intervention on my part. Perhaps people were just so grateful, as I was, to have a place where birds of a feather could explore the Seth material, and communicate, share, explore, debate, and play.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;One of the main characteristics of early Sethnet was a playfulness vibe (“if it’s not fun, then don’t do it”). There was also an air of experimentation. We held dream parties, and remote viewing tests. We did ice breaking – get to know you – activities. There was a sense of camaraderie, people volunteered information about where to buy used books, donated used books to each other, and posted quotes on various topics. We had Richard Kendall and Norm Friedman “visit” the list, and people asked questions, we sent them, and they answered. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Still, every now and Zen, someone would dive into the shadows and some flames would occur, but in 99% of the situations, it was just someone blowing off steam, and ultimately taking responsibility for their issues. The list would settle down and roll on. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;" align=justify&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;&lt;IMG title="Like the tides at a beach..." style="WIDTH:322px;HEIGHT:240px;" height=300 alt="Like the tides at a beach..." hspace=4 src="http://www.newworldview.com/images/palm_tree_beach_sm.jpg" width=400 align=right border=0&gt;In the early days I made it a point to individually greet every new subscriber who posted. It created an air of welcome and openness. I often used the metaphor that the list was like a beach – you never know what would come up each 24 hour cycle with the tides, and so the discussions ebbed and flowed according to their own natural rhythms. Many folks had expectations met; others didn’t, as everyone had unique issues and reasons for joining the fray.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Then, Stan passed away unexpectedly in February 1999, right as SNI was planning its second Elmira, NY conference. The list was only five months old, and Lynda announced she would shut down SNI after the June conference. Though she handed Sethnet over to me before its first anniversary, the list continued to grow in size and complexity. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;In the process I intuitively learned to “splinter” various opposing energies off the list whenever strong personalities began to insist their interpretations were the only right ones, or demand things be run in ways that didn’t feel constructive to the whole list. There needs to be a certain focus and intention to guide the interactions, and when that changes you either refine and update it, or else simply splinter it off. It took me several years to perfect, and required constant feedback from subscribers.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Those who demanded changes were simply told in no uncertain terms to take their act elsewhere, start their own communities, and come back in a couple years with the benefit of actual experience and show us all how to make Sethnet better. In other words, I always took a constructive approach and sought the best advice on how to improve things on Sethnet.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;SPAN class=sd-abs-pos style="LEFT:0in;WIDTH:262px;POSITION:absolute;TOP:5.77in;"&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;&lt;IMG height=140 hspace=5 src="http://www.parabolicmirror.com/images/bench.jpg" width=215 align=left&gt;Over the years a dozen Yahoo! lists splintered off of Sethnet. Most went the way of the dodo for various reasons, chief of which is that it takes nurturing energy to ground any group of people exploring the Seth Material, and a constructive system of checks and balances to promote growth and avoid stagnation. It also requires adequate knowledge of the material, which had grown to over thirty-five books by Jane, Seth, and Rob.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;There’s an art to managing this process constructively, though feathers got ruffled, and egos got involved in the “my-way highway or else.” I always tried to take the temperature and feeling tone of the list into consideration when making these moves, seeking what the majority of subscribers were interested in exploring and learning about. As I often said, it was their list, not mine. My main function was to be “a guide at the side” in that respect.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;But what led to these splintering actions were those strong personalities who wanted to create their own “ministry” – direction, flavor, angle, set of rules, or focus on a cult of personality to explore the Seth Material. And I continue to see nothing wrong with that. It’s all about vision, insight, and understanding one’s own purpose for being a “sage on the sage” and a “guide at the side,” and there needs to be room for a list owner to do both. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;We need expertise based on direct experience with living the principles in the Seth Material combined with the ability to facilitate people’s explorations. I made it a point to have the best resources possible, including compilations of Seth exercises, Seth concepts, Seth/Jane books, channeling, a quotes database, etc. People explored compilations of material on the inner senses, laws of the inner universe, Seth’s creation myth, the families of consciousness, and more, all the while being able to dialogue about their own experiences with them.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;We explored Seth’s map of All-That-Is and various practices in which to directly check it out for ourselves. No need for intermediaries. We each create our own lives, but never in a vacuum. So there’s simultaneous creation and co-creation as we dance together. It takes time and experience to muster the courage to explore by trial and error.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;IMG height=146 hspace=5 src="http://www.parabolicmirror.com/images/sethsmallpic.jpg" width=110 align=right&gt;&lt;BR&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;MARGIN-LEFT:0.5in;MARGIN-RIGHT:0.5in;" align=justify&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;“&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;This material is not for those who would deceive themselves with pretty, packaged, ribboned, truths – truths that are parceled out and cut apart so that you can digest them. That sort of material does serve a need, and there are many who give it and it is helpful for those who need it. This material demands more. It demands that you intellectually and intuitively expand it demands that you use your abilities.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;MARGIN-LEFT:0.5in;MARGIN-RIGHT:0.5in;" align=justify&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;“&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;There are other ways far more difficult and you are not ready for those, but you are ready for the methods that I have given if you are willing to work. And yet by work, I mean a joyful endeavor, a spontaneous endeavor. You have simply to allow yourselves to be yourselves.” ~ &lt;I&gt;ESP Class&lt;/I&gt;, October 21, 1969.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;BR&gt;&lt;BR&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Put another way, we all have something to learn from Seth, we’re still unpacking his ideas some forty years later, and no one will ever have it all figured out. So there’s plenty of room for dialogue and debate. Thus, everyone’s welcome to voice their opinions and experiences as long as they stay on the constructive side, which by definition means &lt;I&gt;to promote growth, development, value fulfillment and avoid stagnation&lt;/I&gt;. When the shadow side begins to dominate destructive opinions, flames, etc. result and they, by definition, are intended to hurt, maim, destroy, and marginalize.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;So there was a learning process during the first five years in which I began to understand the complexities of the social dynamics, power plays, well intended helpfulness, and so much more going on in the subtext of the email traffic on Sethnet. We averaged between 30-100+ posts per day. However, this created a high signal to noise ratio, and many people wanted more focused conversations, but didn’t know how to go about doing that without imposing rules that would constrain the very creative impulse at work and play on the list.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Again, there was consistent effort on my part to get feedback from the list on what it wanted. List focus – thread focus – was constantly revisited, as some wanted more detailed Seth-related threads, and others just enjoyed polite social banter that had little to do with Seth per se. I realized that there was room for both, but it took time. I used a new feature – polls – to get feedback from the list. These were a lot of work, but the results were always helpful in discerning feeling tone, direction, and needs of the group energy.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Moreover, once Yahoo! Groups grew so large that all members were subscribed to multiple groups, trolls started to use Sethnet for their own narcissistic agendas, feeding off the attention that their flames and titillations stirred up. Sumari can be quite the pot stirrers! &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;SPAN class=sd-abs-pos style="LEFT:0.07in;WIDTH:164px;POSITION:absolute;TOP:3.91in;"&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;&lt;IMG height=300 hspace=5 src="http://www.parabolicmirror.com/images/troll.jpg" width=214 align=left&gt;Some began to feed off the shadow projections, and became addicted to a steady diet of “shadow shit.” In the early days we said to just ignore what you didn’t like, and pay attention to what grabbed you. But the amount of shadow shit literally grew into a cesspool that couldn’t be ignored. There were calls for moderation, banning, as well as leave things alone. Some based on “Seth said,” some based on common sense.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;By the summer of 2003 Sethnet had become a toxic mix of pathological personalities and well intended, loving, nurturing folks who couldn’t seem to create their own peaceful version of the list. Sethnet’s energetic gestalt teetered on chaos, and its ability to self-organize and self-correct became dysfunctional. I strongly considered leaving, but decided to facilitate the list’s need for new direction and focus.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;During the process more people left, and new lists splintered off (some flowered, and some didn’t). A “great moderation debate” ensued during the summer of 2003. I used a set of polls, and worked tirelessly to communicate the results to the subscribers (see Appendix). This was a crucial time in the history of Sethnet, as it finally dawned on a slim majority of subscribers that there had to be limits imposed and enforced on the list. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;The list voted to create a &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/community/guidelines.html"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;set of guidelines&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt; and use a group of moderators to enforce them via polls. I asked for volunteers, interviewed, and “hired” them in September, 2003. Though controversial, our subscriber list grew to over 1,300 by the summer of 2004, so we must have done something right! Besides people still had a choice to participate on other lists, but since Sethnet was the largest, in terms of subscribers and posts, it remained a focal point for the online community during this period.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Most complaints about imposing moderation on Sethnet turned out to involve people’s own issues with authority figures – corrupt authority figures. The key issue then became “who moderates the moderators?” In other words, what checks and balances were in place to prevent the abuse of authority? This is a legitimate and crucial question for any online community to adequately address. We did our best to communicate this as we developed and refined it, but the process was like driving down a road at 80 MPH while paving it.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Still, we – the first group of moderators – gradually evolved a governance system that remains in place to this day. We became a self-policing group who reviewed and voted on all moderation decisions and revisions to the guidelines; simple majority ruled. There are no unilateral actions, although moderators have the power and responsibility to interpret the spirit of the guidelines, when they are violated, and how to proceed. However, there is accountability for all decisions, and they are all documented. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Again, we discovered that 99% of the abusive situations could be nipped in the bud by private emails to discern the intent of the poster. If they don’t really give a shit, and are trolling for attention, they don’t respond. If they do, we dialogue and discern the problem and do our best to offer help. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;SPAN class=sd-abs-pos style="LEFT:4.64in;WIDTH:171px;POSITION:absolute;TOP:5.33in;"&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;We also discovered that Sethnet, specifically, is not a place for individual therapy. The list can function that way to a certain extent, but it is NOT a place to get professional help. So we gradually developed a list of conscious creation, Sethian therapists to recommend to people whose problems were becoming self-destructive or dangerous to others.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;" align=justify&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;IMG height=300 hspace=5 src="http://www.parabolicmirror.com/images/dog.jpg" width=269 align=right&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Remember that cartoon from the July 5, 1993 &lt;I&gt;New Yorker&lt;/I&gt; when the Internet was brand new? It meant that people could take on all kinds of roles and personae as a mask to hide behind. It took us over five years to recognize various forms of pathology and interpersonal dysfunction that played out over and over on Sethnet until we put a stop to it. But we didn’t marginalize it, or sweep it under the rug. We finally understood that some people were out of balance, and in rare cases, seriously ill.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Things settled down by the summer of 2004, and the list moved on. Ironically, most Seth-based email lists had some form of moderation in place by that time, even those that claimed not to (which I call &lt;I&gt;stealth moderation&lt;/I&gt;). During the fall, John McNally, one of the original moderators, created &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/blogs/sethnetjournal/"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Sethnet Journal&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;, picking up where Serge Grandbois left off with his short-lived &lt;I&gt;Seth Journal&lt;/I&gt; (Serge’s attempt to continue Maude Cardwell’s &lt;I&gt;Reality Change&lt;/I&gt;). But Serge’s journal was a print and subscription model, and John decided to make it a free ezine, and a monthly one at that, using the new blogging software that was becoming all the rage. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;&lt;IMG height=45 hspace=5 src="http://www.parabolicmirror.com/images/snjlogosm.jpg" width=193 align=left&gt;Four years later&lt;I&gt;, Sethnet Journal&lt;/I&gt; is going strong with monthly articles, poetry, and art, along with notices for Seth-related websites, meeting groups, products, and services. All of this is done for free and on a volunteer basis. It has been an outreach project of love and service to the community, and I can’t thank John and all who’ve helped enough! They deserve a lot of credit and continued support (please send your articles, poems, artwork, notices, etc. to &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="mailto:SNJ@newworldview.com"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;SNJ@newworldview.com&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;).&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;During this time I also began to tire of Yahoo’s constant lack of technical support, and server problems that delayed emails, and even sent some into alternate realities never to be seen again. Paranoid subscribers even blamed the moderators, which is humorous &lt;I&gt;only&lt;/I&gt; in hindsight. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face=Wingdings&gt;?&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt; So in 2006 I created a new, custom version of the NewWorldView forums, which had been running in parallel since 2001, and moved Sethnet there. Besides, the NWV website had become home to the best Seth, Jane Roberts, and conscious creation related resources on the web so it was a perfect match. The new forums launched on September 6, 2006 along with a newly updated NWV website. Sethnet was now part of the first Seth-based Internet portal!&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Unfortunately, we weren’t able to transfer the subscriber list from Yahoo!, so there was yet another transition period, but over the last two years our subscriber list has grown to over 1540! So again, we must be doing something right! The Seth Material remains our gold standard, but we also explore Elias, Kris, Rose, and Ken Wilber as well. I learned early on that “Seth in a vacuum” produced Sethism, a fundamentalist strain of Seth based mostly on “Seth said” as validity claim. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Also, there was precarious lack of critical thinking and discernment toward what was &lt;I&gt;missing&lt;/I&gt; from the Seth Material (for instance, the shadow, energy centers, and nonduality), meaning that it’s not a completed body of work, and yet the fundamentalists treated it as such. Pretzel logic ruled the day. The same is true with Elias, Kris, Rose, and Wilber. You can’t study them in isolated fashion or you begin to see a groupthink based on what amounts to quoting scripture as proof of truth claim. This is what led me to explore &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/new_world_over_view.html#IA"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Ken Wilber’s integral approach&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt; and become an integralist (I earned an &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.integraluniversity.org/"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Integral Certificate&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt; from Wilber’s fledgling &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.integralinstitute.org/"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Integral Institute&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt; in August 2007).&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;" align=justify&gt;&lt;SPAN class=sd-abs-pos style="LEFT:4.85in;WIDTH:141px;POSITION:absolute;TOP:6.99in;"&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;IMG style="WIDTH:111px;HEIGHT:106px;" height=250 hspace=5 src="http://www.parabolicmirror.com/images/deadhead.jpg" width=250 align=right&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;So here we are ten years later, and what a long strange trip it continues to be! Moderators have come and gone, and even been fired for abusing their authority. New ones continue to volunteer and add their melodious voices to the mix. We continue to create a safe and nurturing environment where people can explore altered states and develop their psychic abilities.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Thus far I have focused on the politics of Sethnet as I think they are very important. There were many lessons learned that have value for those interested in growing their own online communities to the size and scope that have been at the heart of Lynda’s and my vision for Sethnet since day one. And let me be clear, even though Lynda was only involved for the first year, her work paved the way and strongly influenced Sethnet’s direction from day one.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;I have also loved hearing the stories over the years from those who enjoyed some part of their time on Sethnet, and now NewWorldView. So I’d like to finish with one about Lealonie Elliott, whom I just met at the &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.coloradosethconference.com/"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Colorado Seth Conference&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;, because her story is symbolic of the power that a healthy online community has to help, heal, and nurture folks during difficult times. Lealonie is one of those delightful personalities that always had something positive to say and offered her thoughts in helpfulness on the old Yahoo! Sethnet. It turned out that she was also going through a very difficult time of major life changes and depression. Sethnet literally served as her guiding light for months during that difficult time. To make a long story short, she eventually met her current partner, Ronnie Allen, through the list when she made a trip to Colorado, and now works in a job she loves (hospice care), dances, and pursues other creative endeavors.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Stories like this make the vagaries of managing Sethnet over the last decade worthwhile. Seeing those lovely smiles reminded me, once again, why I invest so much of my creative energy in the NWV forums. They really help people, because they are properly designed and managed to allow anyone to explore the Seth material in a safe and nurturing environment that promotes growth, creativity, and fulfillment.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Sethnet remains our flagship forum, and is complemented by the Inner Visions Journal (focus on dreams, autotyping, and channeling), Kosmic Cocktail Lounge (general anything goes), and NAGEW (focus on creative writing). We are going to add a Rose forum in the coming weeks, and so we go, riding the waves of consciousness, exploring the “unknown” reality, and boldly going where few have gone before.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Thank you one and all. Looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing. It continues to be a learning experience, and I look forward to another ten years of exploring Seth’s ideas, and helping our international community to grow. I invite you to contribute to the forums, journal, and website in whatever way floats yer boat! &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;In love and service,&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;Paul H.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;HR&gt;

&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY:Arial;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;Appendix I - Props&lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;There are many people to thank, most importantly the 5,000-plus subscribers who have come through and contributed over 110,000 posts. This list is for YOU!&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Seth, Jane, Rob, and Laurel for making the Seth Material available.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Stan Ulkowski and Lynda Dahl for all their work with Seth Network Int’l.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Volunteer moderators: John McNally, Augustina Blake, Billie Petty, Serge Grandbois, Jim Ferrigno, Don Johnson, Sean Foreman, Carmen Silvers, and Nardine Neilson.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Sethnet Journal: John McNally (chief editor) and Kristen Fox (graphics) for consistently producing a quality ezine every month for over four years. And to everyone who continues to contribute their creative expressions.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Finally, to Joanne, my love and light, high desert Rose, and eternal Muse for working a day job all these years that gave me the freedom to explore the Seth Material in such depth. Sethnet would not exist without your love and support!&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;&lt;B&gt;Appendix II - History&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Here are additional links from NWV (Events =&amp;gt; Past Events) that flesh out the history of Sethnet in greater detail:&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/events/Sethnet_Online_FAQ.html"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Sethnet’s Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt; ~ many ask the same questions over and over. Great for new and old subscribers!&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/events/Survival_Guide.html"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;The Sethnet Email List Survival Guide&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt; ~ get the most out of this email list!&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/events/Richard_Kendall_ESP_Class.html"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Richard Kendall’s January 18, 1999 Visit&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt; ~ Richard shares his perspective on attending Jane Roberts’s ESP class.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/events/Norm_Friedman1.html"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Norman Friedman’s May 18, 1999 Visit&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt; ~ Norman shares his perspective on Seth and Quantum mechanics.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/events/Sethnet99_pix1.html"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Online photo album June 1999&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt; ~ pictures taken by Rodney Davidson at the Sethnet Conference, Elmira, NY.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;UL&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;
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&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/events/Sethnet99_pix1.html"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Page #1&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt; &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;&lt;/LI&gt;
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&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/events/Sethnet99_pix2.html"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Page #2&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt; &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;&lt;/LI&gt;
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&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/events/Sethnet99_pix3.html"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Page #3&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt; &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;&lt;/LI&gt;
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&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/events/Sethnet99_pix4.html"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Page #4&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt; &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;&lt;/LI&gt;
&lt;LI&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/events/Sethnet99_pix5.html"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Page #5&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt; &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;&lt;/LI&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/UL&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/events/Sethnet99_Robpix1.html"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Paintings by Robert F. Butts June 1999&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt; ~ more pictures taken by Rodney Davidson at the Sethnet Conference, Elmira, NY.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
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&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/events/Sethnet99_Robpix1.html"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Page #1&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt; &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;&lt;/LI&gt;
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&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/events/Sethnet99_Robpix2.html"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Page #2&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt; &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;&lt;/LI&gt;
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&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/events/Sethnet99_Robpix3.html"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Page #3&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt; [Includes the famous portrait of Seth beckoning]. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;&lt;/LI&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/UL&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/events/groupdream.html"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;SethNet Group Dream 1 September 1999&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt; ~&amp;nbsp;pages created by Annette Shacklett of the Labor Day Dream Party, Sept. 4, 5 &amp;amp; 6.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/events/Remote_Viewing.html"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Remote Viewing Exercise March/April 2000 &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;~&amp;nbsp;Frank Webster’s fun idea, similar to what Jane and her ESP Class used to do.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/events/Rob_Butts_Letter.html"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;A Letter from Rob Butts to Sethnet October 2000&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt; ~ Rob’s reply to Annette Shacklett’s invitation to attend the Halloween Dream Party.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/events/List_Focus.html"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;The Focus of this List&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt; ~ some thoughts from April/May 1999 on how to keep this list focused.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/events/List_Focus_New.html"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;List Focus and Guidelines Revisited&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt; ~ a March/April 2001 interactive poll.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/events/List_Focus_3.html"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;List Focus and Guidelines Revisited&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt; ~ a July/September 2003 interactive poll.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/events/A_Brief_Probable_History_of_Sethnet.html"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;A Brief, Probable History of Sethnet&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt; ~ what/who gave birth to this group and why?&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/events/Sethnet_Speaks.html"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Sethnet Speaks, January 2006&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt; ~ compiled by Paul M. Helfrich.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT color=#0000ff&gt;&lt;A href="http://www.newworldview.com/forums/thread/513.aspx"&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="TEXT-DECORATION:none;"&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Welcome! September 2006&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/A&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt; ~ intro to the new Sethnet on NWV by Paul M. Helfrich.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;HR&gt;

&lt;P class=western style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="FONT-SIZE:10pt;FONT-FAMILY:Arial;"&gt;Happy Anniversary Sethnet &lt;BR&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/B&gt;&lt;SPAN style="FONT-SIZE:10pt;FONT-FAMILY:Arial;"&gt;by Nardine Neilson &lt;o:p&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;&lt;SPAN style="FONT-SIZE:10pt;FONT-FAMILY:Arial;"&gt;&lt;o:p&gt;
&lt;P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN:0cm 0cm 0pt;LINE-HEIGHT:150%;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="FONT-SIZE:10pt;LINE-HEIGHT:150%;FONT-FAMILY:Arial;"&gt;This moment in time joyous it be&lt;BR&gt;Celebrating the 10th anniversary&lt;BR&gt;Of Sethnet - yahoo! - the magic we do&lt;BR&gt;When seeing it from our whole NewWorldView &lt;BR&gt;Join in the chorus sing loud your song&lt;BR&gt;Ten wonderful years this ship has sailed on&lt;BR&gt;Golden the standard&amp;nbsp;held to the light&lt;BR&gt;Seth, Jane &amp;amp; Rob their truth to ignite&lt;BR&gt;Our passion and purpose intentionally to&lt;BR&gt;Inspire our bliss in all that we do&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN:0cm 0cm 0pt;LINE-HEIGHT:150%;"&gt;&lt;SPAN style="FONT-SIZE:10pt;LINE-HEIGHT:150%;FONT-FAMILY:Arial;"&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&amp;nbsp;&lt;/P&gt;&lt;/o:p&gt;&lt;/SPAN&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;
&lt;HR&gt;

&lt;P&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;&lt;B&gt;A Dream, A Question, and A Promise&lt;BR&gt;&lt;/B&gt;By Pamela Gibson&lt;BR&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;&lt;B&gt;Chapter 7&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;&lt;B&gt;February 27, Monday&lt;/B&gt; &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;For the third and, I hoped, final time I waited on the hard wooden bench across the hall from the front counter of the Homicide division. The door beside the counter opened and my bloodshot brown eyes locked with Jeff’s steely grey ones. Neither of us spoke as I followed him down a narrow hallway to a tiny interview room where we faced each other across a vinyl card table. He glared at me with a gaze as frigid as the icy temperature in the room. Just as before, a tape recorder rested on the table between us. Without a word I handed him ten hand-written pages of lined yellow notebook paper.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;“What’s this?” he snapped.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;In a small voice I said, “I wrote it all out.”&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;He quickly thumbed through the pages, counting them, noticing that they were written on both front and back. “We won’t need this, then,” he said, nodding at the tape recorder. His voice was gentler now and I imagine he appreciated not having to interview such a recalcitrant witness. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Wordlessly he started to read my statement. What follows is a compressed version of the one I gave him: I’ve gotten my fear under control now. The worst thing that can happen to me is that Jaaku will send some of his criminal friends after me to put the hurt on me after he hears what I have to say in court. Just like he did to that soldier’s family.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;I am part of the triangle of Jaaku and Vic because I was attracted to Vic, Jaaku was attracted to me, and the two of them were friends. Even if you draw lines between our three apartments, it forms a triangle, each of us living only a few blocks from the other two.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Jeff raised his eyebrows, pursed his lips, nodded and continued reading:&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;I already told you that Jaaku told everybody he saw me having sex with a Navy fire captain in the alarm room. There actually was a Navy captain talking to me after midnight only a few weeks after I transferred from the Navy Fire Department dispatch office to Hennessee. The captain’s red chief’s truck was parked in the parking lot, Jaaku must have seen it, and then spied on us through the alarm room’s small back window. We were just talking but that wasn’t juicy enough to gossip about. That’s why he made up his sex story. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;It was legitimate for that fire chief to be visiting me. He’d just secured a house fire where someone had gotten badly burned and he was all wired up and wanted to talk to somebody. That’s how it is with the guys sometimes after a gruesome emergency; they need to talk. I’d worked with that chief before I transferred from the Navy and he knew I was working mids so he popped in. I heard him radio his dispatch office that he was at Hennessee Fire Department so they knew exactly where he was. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;I teach yoga part time and Jaaku must have fantasized that I’m as flexible as a rubber band because he told the firemen that my legs were all the way back behind my head when he saw me with that Navy captain. He also said that he looked through the back window after midnight and saw me doing yoga and tai chi in the nude. It’s true that I sometimes do yoga stretches or tai chi when things are slow and I’m trying to stay awake on the mid shift. Jaaku takes one little speck of truth—that I was talking to a Navy fire chief in the alarm room, that I do yoga— and twists it into something perverted—I’m having sex on the floor or I’m in the nude. That’s his way.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Jaaku used to invite me over to his apartment, lots of times. I never would go. I used my boyfriend Abe as an excuse, saying he wouldn’t like it. Jaaku had met Abe at a fire department party and shook his hand, which Abe told me later he regretted after I told him how crazed Jaaku was. Jaaku thought it was cool that I had a local boyfriend. He used to say, “You all right, Pam. You ain’t one of those wahines who think you got to be white to be right.”&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Jeff looked up from my writing to ask, “Did Jaaku and Abe know each other?”&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;“No.” I said. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Jeff resumed reading: Once, when Vic and Jaaku were talking to me in the alarm room, Jaaku asked me if I ever invited another man over when my ‘old man Abe’ and I had a fight. I told him no, that I was completely loyal to Abe. Several times Jaaku asked me to go ‘cruising’ with him and Vic. I would answer, “Go cruising with you two perverts? No way.”&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;“Yeah, we’re perverts,” Jaaku would say, and nod his head up and down. “Yeah, that’s right.” He liked it that I called them perverts; it was a badge of honor to him and a joke to Vic. But I only used the “p” word when Vic was hanging with Jaaku so he wouldn’t imagine I was singling him out or ‘crossing’ him.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;When people started coming to me and telling me what Jaaku had said about me and the Navy fire chief, one of the firemen, Jimmy Broz, came to me privately and warned me about Jaaku. Jimmy told me about Jaaku trying to shoot him when they went pig hunting, about Jaaku sending his thug buddies to beat up a soldier’s family, and about Jaaku stealing the station video center. He also told me that Jaaku put a dead fish in Assistant Chief Bob Henderson’s desk drawer as a death threat, Mafia style. Bob just thought it was somebody’s stupid prank; he didn’t understand the symbolism until I told him what it meant. Anyway, right from the start, I knew that Jaaku was a liar and a thief and that he hurt people or arranged to have them hurt.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;When Jaaku semi-apologized after spreading those lies about me, I pretended to accept his apology because I didn’t dare tell him I knew he was lying. After that, I suppose he figured I was his friend because he started coming into the alarm room when I was by myself and telling me stories. I used to wonder why he told me all this stuff. I had a local boyfriend and since Jaaku’s local, too, maybe he thought he could confide in me.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Or maybe he was trying to impress me. I don’t really know for sure why he told me stories but he told me quite a few. He also told the firemen these stories and more but I doubt they’ll fess up to you. They’re too scared. Just like I was. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Anyway, Jaaku told me he’d cut Bob’s brake lines when the chief promoted someone else to captain. “Because Bob’s da chief’s boy,” Jaaku said, “and dat fat buggah get da chief’s ear, hey, no lie.” Incidentally, I told Bob that Jaaku told me he was the one who cut Bob’s brake lines. But Bob was sure his stepson had done it and Jaaku was claiming credit just to make himself look big. Everybody knew Jaaku wasn’t above claiming responsibility for a crime he didn’t commit if it put him in the limelight. Because he craves attention like a drug addict craves a fix.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Jaaku also told me that story about having a soldier’s mother and two brothers beaten up by some of his syndicate ‘bruddahs.’ And he told me about the time Chief Jacobs threatened to terminate him for some wrong doing. Jaaku acted out pointing his finger at the chief and yelling, “You terminate me, I’ll terminate you!” and then slapping him four times across his “Tweety Bird” face. Jaaku said the chief was afraid of him and that’s why he didn’t fire him. Because I also heard this same story from some of the other guys, I believed it. Later, I found out from a fireman who actually saw the incident that Jaaku had only pushed the chief’s finger down when the chief pointed his finger at Jaaku and scolded him. That was Jaaku’s way; take a small incident and blow it up to make himself look like a bad ass.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Jaaku also told me he’d stolen the station’s video-audio entertainment center and sold it at the swap meet, and that he set fire to his truck in the cane fields because he couldn’t afford the payments and so he could collect the insurance money. And he told me he used to drive the getaway car for his criminal friends when they pulled off break-ins and robberies on the Windward side.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;And Jaaku told me stories about things he might do in the future. He used to say he would set fire to the station or plant a bomb in the chief’s office if he didn’t get smart and promote him. Once I told him my landlord was threatening to charge me extra rent because my boyfriend was spending so much time at my apartment. Jaaku told me he’d set fire to the landlord’s house if I wanted him to. I told him no thanks, I wasn’t that mad at the landlord. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Both Jaaku and I disliked a bad-tempered sergeant, Sergeant Omiya, who worked in the extinguisher shop. Rumor had it that, after Sergeant Omiya retired, he would come back to work as a civilian assistant chief at the fire department. We dreaded the thought of having old Omiya as our permanent boss. Jaaku said, if that ever happened, “No need worry, Pam,” because he would “accidentally” reverse the crash truck into the assistant chief’s bunkroom when Omiya was sleeping there.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;It was impossible to tell the truth from the lies in the stories Jaaku told. Usually there was a little of both but sometimes every bit of it was lies. He used to act out how he fought fires in Vietnam. Like an ‘air guitar player’, he would become an ‘air hose fireman’, showing me how he grabbed the charged hose line and put out fires while ducking the falling bombs. A few weeks ago, I found out that Jaaku had never even done one tour in ‘Nam. But a lot of the things Jaaku claimed to have done actually happened.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Last July, my boyfriend Abe and I split up and he moved to the Big Island. Jaaku found out Abe was gone when he heard about that double date I had with Vic—for awhile it was the talk of the station, thanks to my big-mouthed fireman friend Red. When Jaaku asked me about Abe I lied, saying Abe would be coming back to me as soon as he made some decent money, that he was just working off island for awhile because he’d finally landed a job that paid well. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Abe did come back to visit me and his family a few times. I always played it up to Jaaku, acting excited, saying he would soon come home for good. I felt reassured when Jaaku would drive by (he only lived a few blocks away) and see Abe and me loading beach stuff into my car in front of my fourplex. I felt safer that Jaaku knew I wasn’t alone, at least not all of the time. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;After my double date with Vic, Jaaku started giving me lots of compliments. He would say, “Hi there, pretty lady!” and told me I looked slim, trim, and beautiful. Sometimes he swore he was going to lose weight and start working out with weights because he knew women admired men with muscular builds. Men like my boyfriend Abe. Men like Vic. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;By the way, Vic was always trying to get Jaaku to lift weights with him at the gym. Jaaku would promise to meet him there but never showed up. He wasn’t one to work for something; he totally lacked discipline. Once I gave him a copy of a diet from the Mayo Clinic because he said he wanted to lose weight. The following shift he was back to eating junk food. When I asked him about it, he said, “Aah, too much bother. Da wahines like me the way I am ‘cause I know how for make ‘em feel good.” Jaaku was definitely an instant gratification kind of guy. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;He was also a gross guy. The firemen told me that he used to sniff the secretaries’ chairs after they left for the day. That he xeroxed his bare behind and passed it around for the guys to see. I just can’t imagine why anyone would want to look at something so ugly.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Once Jaaku burst into the alarm room where I sat alone and blurted out that he’d really like to make love to me. I looked back down at my crossword puzzle, hardly daring to breathe. I wanted to say, “In your dreams” but of course I didn’t. I just prayed that he’d disappear. When I looked up a few minutes later, he was gone. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Later, I told a fireman who works on the other shift, Keith Nakama, what Jaaku had said. Keith and I sometimes discussed Jaaku because Keith grew up across the street from him and knew his family. Keith frowned and pointed his finger at me, “You’d better stay away from that guy.” But how in the world could I stay away when I was trapped like a captive bird in the cul-de-sac of the alarm room?&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Sometime in September, Jaaku’s tales switched from true crime to grossly obscene. His stories got more and more explicit and, about six weeks after they started, I became so disgusted and despondent that I had Assistant Chief Maxwell kick him out of the alarm room. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Thinking back on it now, the timing couldn’t have been worse. Jaaku had been given a temporary, 90-day promotion to captain. He really wanted that promotion. In his own mind, he was convinced he was going to get it, that it was a done deal, even though he’d been told it was only temporary. He halfway believed his own lies, that the chief wouldn’t dare promote someone else because he was afraid of repercussions from Jaaku. A few weeks after he was booted out of the alarm room, the management demoted him and promoted someone else, this time permanently. That was around the middle of last November.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;I had my last conversation with Jaaku the day before he went on leave on December 30th. He slouched against the alarm room doorway since he was forbidden entry. His shoulders were slumped and he wore an expression of bleakness like a Halloween mask. Jaaku, depressed. I loved it. He told me he was taking a long leave from the fire department and was going to try and find another job, as a security guard. I fervently hoped he would leave for good but suspected I’d never get that lucky. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;I slid into my survive-Jaaku mode, which mandated that I keep up the pretense of friendship lest he think me an enemy. “Security guards don’t get paid much,” I told him. “Even without that promotion, you’re making good money, more money than my boyfriend Abe makes working construction.” I told him Abe used to work part-time as a security guard and it only paid $7 an hour. Jaaku said that Chief Jacobs was just using him. “Using you, too, Pam.” He added that he was fed up with this ‘fucking’ place.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Sometimes when Jaaku told me stories I tuned him out because I knew that so much of what he said was lies and exaggerations. But I did take note when he pantomimed blowing someone away. He’d make his hand into a pretend gun and act out shooting, making a bullet-whizzing sound through his teeth. So he did have a murder fantasy.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;It amazed and puzzled me that Vic and Jaaku were pals. So different and yet they were friends. They used to hang out together at work and, from what they said, after work as well. They were as opposite as the North Star and a black hole. I don’t think either one of them saw the other as he really was. I imagine Vic’s quirky sense of humor drew him to Jaaku because he thought Jaaku was hilarious when he told his slapstick tales in his inimitable, exaggerated style. Some of the other guys thought so, too. Jaaku was an extraordinary pantomimic; a regular show stopper. For his part, Jaaku probably liked to go clubbing with quiet Vic who, despite being shy with strange women, was a chick magnet. The gossip around the station had it that loquacious Jaaku sometimes scored with the barflies who couldn’t make time with Vic.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;I don’t think Vic understood Jaaku’s sinister side, not even when he confronted him on the morning of his death. Vic thought about taking his gun but must have decided he could reason with his friend instead. And of course he didn’t know that Jaaku had a concealed .357 magnum stuck in his waistband at the back of his trousers (my theory.)&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Vic couldn’t fathom that his buddy would really shoot him down. Jaaku couldn’t lay the same fear trips on him that worked on the other firemen because Vic was the kind of guy who, if he felt fear, confronted it rather than ran from it. Just like he confronted emergencies. Vic probably figured Jaaku for a funny little guy who liked to act big; I doubt that he believed Jaaku’s threats. Even if Jaaku was threatening to ‘blow’ him away, Vic probably thought it was just more of Jaaku’s hot air. However, Vic did take it seriously enough that he considered taking his gun.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;For Jaaku’s part, he knew Vic could beat the stuffing out of him and he was probably terrified of that. He was also jealous of Vic’s good looks and muscular build. To Vic’s face, however, Jaaku acted like they were the world’s best pals. Vic was so straight forward himself, I don’t imagine he suspected otherwise. Especially since Sam Tolofa didn’t clue him in that Jaaku got off on pointing a loaded gun at him under the table while they talked and joked together.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Almost everybody in the station caught on to Jaaku’s true nature after they were exposed to him for a time, and eventually most of them tried to avoid him. But I think Vic was finally getting it and wanted to break the bonds of friendship. I don’t know that for sure but I do know Jaaku would have considered that kind of action the worse kind of double cross. He never would have stood for it.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;I also know that, in those last six weeks before he was killed, while Jaaku was on leave, Vic metamorphosed into a different person. He was as happy and high energy as ever I knew a man to be. During that time, it was pure bliss and joy for me when Vic was on duty. We had long talks and joked and laughed and it felt like manna from heaven, that he was my friend. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;I thank God for those six weeks working with Vic and for the respite from Jaaku that loosed Vic from the chains of Jaaku’s dark, forbidding—and yes, evil—influence. We played like children, grew closer than kissin’ cousins, and laughed ‘til our sides hurt. My oh my, did we ever have fun! Those were sweet hours indeed. After he died it struck me that the soul of that big-hearted man must have known it would soon be free of earthly bonds. He died at the height of his strength, a joyful and radiant spirit. I’m grateful for the closeness we shared during his last days. But I miss him terribly.”&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;I sat quietly, my chin resting in my hands, and watched Jeff’s gray eyes scan page after page of my written words. For the first time in a long time I felt relaxed, my conscience finally clear. My mind meandered over this and that and fell into a voidness, a receptive state where I become like a radio receiver, open to incoming signals; a natural state for me when I’m relaxed. A thought popped into my head, loud and distinct, like a broadcast from some other dimension but spoken in Jeff’s utterly authoritative voice, “This man wanted to rape Pam.”&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;The voice was so clear that I looked at Jeff to see if perhaps he’d spoken the words that still echoed in my mind but his attention was obviously riveted on the pages before him. “How odd,” I thought, “and untrue.”&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;The icy air from the air conditioner caused goose bumps to form on my arm. Chicken skin, the locals would say. I shivered. “It sure is cold in here,” I said.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;“It sure is,” Jeff agreed, not looking up. I watched as he finished reading the last page of my statement. He placed the sheets of paper down on the table, looked at me, raised his eyebrows and said, “This is what you wanted to tell the police?” &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;I nodded and wondered what he’d expected. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;“Your statement is very complete,” he said. “Some of this you told me before but that’s all right.”&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;“I wanted to tell you everything this time,” I said.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;“It’s in the hands of the police now, Pam.” His voice was gentle. “Now, I’d like you to initial each page.”&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Jeff placed the sheets of paper in front of me a page at a time. As I initialed each one, I felt his intense gaze boring into me. When I had finished he said, “I’ll hold onto these, if I may. Thank you for coming down.”&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;“You’re welcome.” I wanted to apologize for not telling him everything earlier but the words formed a lump in my throat. Wordlessly, I followed him back down the narrow hallway and out of the front door of the homicide division. Neither of us spoke as I turned and walked away.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;&lt;B&gt;February 28, Tuesday&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;For the first time since Vic’s murder I felt relaxed. My head hit the pillow at about half past midnight, and I slept soundly and woke up feeling well rested on the stroke of nine the following morning. Working the swing shift, 4 p.m. to midnight, on the previous night had been an exercise in futility. Just after sunset, in my after-hours capacity as the Civil Engineering dispatcher, I waded through an endless string of wrong phone numbers and obsolete standby lists before, finally, making contact with the emergency plumbers. A broken main water line had flooded flight line housing’s ground floor apartments and I had to call in lighting crews so the plumbers could see exactly what lurked inside the giant hole they diligently dug in the middle of the street. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;The combination of nonstop, frantic and irate phone calls lighting up the switchboard—wives demanding to know how soon until they could flush their toilets and bathe the kids—and radio traffic between myself, watervac and light crews, firemen and plumbers, left me oversaturated with too much work and too little time to do it. “If Vic were here,” I thought more than once, “he would have rushed in to answer the phones while I handled the radio.” Oddly enough, part of me felt removed from the whole fiasco. The serenity that had flooded over me after I told Jeff the whole truth about Jaaku and Vic remained intact.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Tuesday was my only long day off, a full 24 hours. In preparation for that night’s midnight shift, I usually tried to sleep as much of the evening away as I could. But now the day yawned long and unfettered before me, and I yawned with it and stretched like a lazy cat. A breakfast of granola, papaya and yogurt banished my hunger and I was looking around for something to do when my eyes fell on my newly-acquired stack of Vic’s phonograph records. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;The names of many of the musicians were familiar to me but most of these albums were not. I played some of his Stevie Wonder and Chuck Mangione albums and grooved to the music. Then I listened to Steve Winwood’s “Arc of a Diver” album. Wow! The songs seemed to have been created just for Vic and me. The music compelled me to dance and I connected to and resonated with the music and lyrics: “…my mind in sky and when I wake up, daytime and nighttime, I feel you near, warm water breathing, she helps me here.” I fell into a fantasy about Vic’s mind being in sky now and both of us warm water breathing, him a Scorpio, me a Pisces, and me feeling him as close to me as my skin.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;“Slow down, sundown,” Steve sang, “coming down too soon…here’s to all the strong ones who don’t care if they win, the kind I’ll never see again.” And me thinking, “Strong one, in your prime, your sun went down way too soon.”&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;It was raining hard with a south wind gusting so I’d shut my jalousie windows to prevent rain from blowing into my living room. In spite of the closed windows, a cool breeze sprang up and swirled through my living room, making my wind chimes bounce, the dancing rods tinkling metallically and melodically together. Energy that felt like a surge of electricity shot through me and an Alice in Wonderland feeling captured my heart. Instantly I knew. The breath of God; certainly no earthly wind this. This was the sparkling energy essence of Vic.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;We danced together to the music he loved, his unique and characteristic blend of playfulness and joy sparkling in the highly charged air. I metamorphosed into a semi-permeable membrane that absorbed the powerful, loving force of his energy. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Beyond rationale or fantasy, a knowingness that this miracle was real filled me with joy. Dazed with wonder and awe, I fell to my knees and thanked All That Is that He had allowed Vic to ride on the wind and “mosey on in” to my living room and straight into my soul. That spirit wind filled me with a joy and certainty that Vic’s energy embraced me. My heart chakra opened wide and my cup overflowed as I merged with Love.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;He was gone as suddenly as he had come but he left a residue of certainty behind that would always keep me safe from the fear of death. Never again would I conceive of death as an extinction of beingness. They say experience is life’s best teacher and I could truly echo Jimmy Hendrix’s question, “Have you ever been experienced?” with his answer: “Well, I have.” In the same way that I hate to wake up from a delightful dream into a drab day, I longed to stay connected to Vic in whatever astral world he was in because it made me feel so joyful and alive.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;&lt;B&gt;February 29, Wednesday&lt;/B&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Shortly after I arrived home from working the mid shift, a phone call from my realtor informed me that the apartment I was buying would close on March 11th. Good news indeed; I’d thought it wouldn’t close until May 1st. I called Mom and Dad, who had promised to loan me $2,000 toward the $5,300 down payment (I’d saved the rest). After I gratefully accepted Mom’s offer to fly out and help me set up house, I peered into the large, dark storage space beneath my stairwell and brushed aside the cobwebs that stuck to my hands like sticky lace. I pulled down dirty boxes that stank of mildew from the top of ceiling-high stacks, wiped them down with a damp rag, and prayed that spiders and centipedes had failed to penetrate masking tape and cardboard. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;Then I bent my knees to the transport of a seemingly endless number of boxes up the stairs, boxes full of stuff I had no room for in the tiny studio I now occupied. Five p.m., the time for my pre-mid shift nap, found me still cross legged on the stained and cigarette-burned brown living room carpet, sorting through stacks of sewing materials, papers, books, dishes, and other mundane and sundry items. “Only one week and four days to go until I’m my very own landlady!” I announced to the messy piles of loose papers and sewing scraps strewn over the carpet, chairs, couch and table.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;My mind scanned the events that led me to the big step of buying my very own apartment. The memory of the palpable fear that had stuck to me like superglue through the dark nights of the previous November and December sent a shudder snaking through me. At the time, I thought my fear stemmed from knowing that a rapist was on the loose in my neighborhood—the Makiki Rapist, they called him—who always attacked women that lived alone. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;But even after he was caught I still shook in my shoes on the countless nights I arrived home from work half an hour or so past midnight. I’d run up the unlit stairs to the isolated, dimly lit walkway in front of my apartment, frantically poke at the keyhole with a key that shimmied in my shaking hand, and strain for the sound of footsteps that might soon, I feared, be slapping up the stairs. Even when the door was locked behind me, my heart would pound like a big brass drum as I thought about how easily someone could kick open the flimsy front door that didn’t even have a deadbolt, or break jalousie windows and climb in. Although I’d glued the glass into the metal frames so an intruder would be unable to silently slide glass out of frames and enter, no one would have heard the sound of breaking glass over the traffic noises on nearby Ward Avenue.&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;The fertilizer of fear had spread over me and I’d resolved to look for another rental when a fireman who sold real estate part time planted a seed of hope inside me. He told me about the Hula Mae mortgage program for low income, first-time buyers such as myself. I started looking at properties. It was discouraging. The condos shown to me by various and sundry realtors were either far more expensive than the $50,000 loan I could qualify for, were in slummy neighborhoods, were leasehold, or were as tiny as my present studio. Then my parents put me in touch with Cathy Baldwin, a family friend who sold real estate. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;I told her what I was looking for and she must have listened closely because the very first apartment she showed me was ideal—a large one bedroom, fee simple, on the first floor of a three-story building in a rural part of Wahiawa Town in Central Oahu. It was 18 years old but well kept and sturdy, made of concrete block, cost only $53,000, and had a security alarm system to boot. That I would be safe even though I lived alone was the deciding factor. And the size—820 square feet compared to the 450 square feet of my studio and the cramped quarters of the apartments I’d been looking at prior to this—made the space seem massive. &lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;/P&gt;
&lt;P style="MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;"&gt;&lt;FONT face=arial,helvetica,sans-serif&gt;&lt;FONT face="Arial, sans-serif"&gt;“I adore it, Cathy,” I told her. “And I love it that the sliding glass doors in the bedroom and living room open onto patios where my potted plants can grow.” The 