21st Century Reality
This blog is about our changing views about reality. It is about us; who we are and where we are going. Some of the blogs may blow your mind, but at the least they will make you think and question what you already know. Think Big and you'll have a hint about what this blog site is all about.
Fear is Fear is Fear....
You may have noticed that we are in the midst of the presidential primary season here in the US. McCain has wrapped up the Republican nomination, but Obama and
Clinton are still slugging it out. Both Obama and Clinton have disavowed Bush and his fear mongering politics, but Clinton has been playing the same fear card that has disguised itself as economics. Fear is fear, whether it is a fear of terrorism or a fear of losing your job and not being able to provide for your family. There is also the fear of change and it is this fear that underlies all the others.
What is fear? Fear represents a lack of trust that the future will bring contentment. Fear does not reside in the present moment, or the NOW if you prefer. When you are fearful you are fearful of something that does not exist in the moment that you are being fearful. I know what I have, but I don’t know what the future
will bring if I change course. This is fear of change. I have been trying to attach words to the feelings I get when listening to Barack Obama. He encourages me to be self-responsible. He invites me to participate in the process of government. This is juxtaposed to McCain and Clinton, who tell me what they will do for me. The change that Obama represents to me, and I suspect to the millions that support his candidacy, is not government as usual, but rather, government of and by the people. Although I have always voted, I never really felt as though my vote counted for much, because other than exercising my right to vote I was never invited to empower myself. Obama invites us to self-empowerment much as Kennedy did when he said in his inaugural address, “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.” I get the sense that Obama is saying, “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for yourself.”
Self-empowerment is scary business. “Who will take care of me?” “I can’t fully take care of myself.” “What if I lose my Job?” “Who will feed my kids?” “I’ll lose everything.” “If we don’t close our borders the terrorists will get in.” There is a great deal of victim mentality in these statements, but more than that there is
fear. Franklin Delano Roosevelt knew about the dragon of fear when he said, “There is nothing to fear, but fear itself.” He had an intuitive sense that fear immobilizes. How do we immobilize ourselves in the present moment? By being fearful of the moment that has not yet arrived. Where do we create the moment that has not yet arrived? In the present moment. Where are we in the moment when our attention is on something that has not happened yet? Well, we sure aren’t in the only moment that creates the future, which is the one you are currently experiencing.
So, what does fear have to do with this election and the three candidates, McCain, Clinton and Obama? In getting at this it is important to remember that the objective (outer) world is symbolic of our subjective (inner) literal world. McCain represents the status quo and is the representative of those who fear change the most, but
Clinton is not far behind. She is feminine gender, but for the most part expresses a masculine persona. She wants government to do what she believes we are incapable of doing ourselves. She represents the mother that wants to fix, fix, fix her children, but cannot see her children fixing themselves. Obama is physically symbolic of change. Yes, he is of male gender, but expresses a decidedly intuitive and therefore feminine orientation. (I refer you back to my posts on
Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus
.) Symbolically his genetic makeup represents the world as a whole and therefore the downfall of tribalism on both a local and global scale.
All this is not to say that Obama is not ready to lead our country, for he is. All this is to say that we can change business as usual in Washington. All it takes is a little courage and a little faith in that inner voice that you may hear that says, “Trust this man for the future is now.”
Bill Marshall
Ouch! That Hurt
I don’t know how you feel about it – although I have my suspicions – but I hated being a
victim
. Whether I was a victim of an accident, or someone’s harsh words, or an angry wasp, it never
felt good. Something just didn’t seem right about it. For some reason I believed part of my early religious education that said we were endowed with free will. It didn’t say we were endowed with free will some of the time and it didn’t say we were endowed with free will only until such time that God decided to go into ‘mysterious ways’ mode. No, it said we were endowed with free will. I don’t know why that stood out for me above all the other hoopla that goes along with a religious education, but it did. It eventually led to my safari into a land called
awareness
. I’m still there and discovering that it’s a damn big continent.
OK, back to being a victim….or not. It certainly appears that we are victims. It’s hard to argue with the families of those killed during 911 that their loved ones chose to disengage from this world. This is why many of us who pursue the concepts and the experience of creating your own reality rarely engage in such conversations with anyone other than those already familiar with the concepts. Part of the problem
lies in our definitions. Thought does not choose. The thinker of the thought chooses. Descartes and his, “I think, therefore I am,” conjoined thought with self. Three hundred years later Jean-Paul Sartre realized “The consciousness that says, ‘I am,’ is not the consciousness that thinks.” That is to say that the awareness that realizes you are thinking is not part of thinking. It is the real “I” that thinking is merely an aspect of.
Thought translates
, and when it translates correctly it appears that thought chooses. How do you get thought to translate correctly more often? Pay attention to what you do and quit blaming what is outside you for your emotional and physical state.
Let’s just play a game. For one day suspend your current understanding of reality and ‘pretend’ that you are creating it all; the good, the bad and the ugly. At the same time you are going to suspend your judgments of good and bad because if you are creating it all you are going to be tempted to blame yourself and therefore become a victim of yourself. A victim is still a victim whether the result of outside forces or internal forces. You’re probably saying, “what difference does it make if I create being stung by a wasp or I continue to see it as I am the victim of a wasp stinging me? It still hurts and it still sucks.” The difference is this: you learn
nothing from a bee sting except to avoid bees if you see yourself as a victim of the bee. You become self-aware when you realize you create it all and that it all has meaning. I’ll tell you this from direct experience. When you get the
communication
of a wasp sting, the sting looses its sting.
The amazing thing about self-awareness is that you begin to create consciously. As you pay more and more attention to self (the chooser, not the thoughts) then thought is fed more information, which allows it to interpret correctly more often. What this means is that we no longer need to create those things we used to create just to get our attention. In other words, you experience fewer accidents and bee stings. The more self awareness grows the fewer conflicts we’ll experience and when we do experience conflict we know that we have chosen it. There is a huge psychological
difference between being the victim of conflict and being the chooser of
conflict
. The world becomes an objective reflection of an inner subjective state instead of a pre-existing milieu in which we bounce around like a pin ball. But, hey. Maybe it has been your choice to be bounced around and so if you enjoy the world acting like the flippers of a pinball machine, then bounce away. But, if you’ve received more than a few bruises and you’d like to try something different, then try this. You are the flippers, you are the machine and you are reflected in all that you perceive.
You also draw everything into your experience. There are no accidents. You only think there are. It makes sense that if you create it all then you draw it all, and
if you draw it all to you then it seems logical that you spend a little time figuring out what you drew to yourself is trying to tell you. In a nutshell you draw specific individuals and interactions to you in order to experience what those individuals and interactions represent. In doing this you offer yourself information concerning your automatic responses. What are automatic responses? They are belief driven responses that you hold so absolutely that you that you cannot choose to act differently. An example of an automatic response might be slapping someone in the face that just called you an asshole. There are other choices. If I am accepting of myself I will not allow another’s perception of me to alter that. I can reconfigure that projected energy or I can just have it bounce off of me. If I am paying attention to me and realizing that I drew that individual to me for a reason then I need not react automatically in defense. I also need not argue against his perception (or hers). I don’t need to take his or her perception and allow it to create a conflicted state of mind.
What have I done in the above example? In the case where I am aware, I presented myself with a series of beliefs that were operative at the moment of the experience. I believe I have choice in every moment and that I have invited this experience as an exercise in choice and acceptance. In that moment I was called an asshole I was not only accepting of me, but I was also accepting of my reflection (the person that
called me an asshole). What am I showing myself in the scenario where I slap the person in the face? My automatic response is based on the belief that he or she was the cause of my reaction. I was also telling myself in that moment that I was neither accepting of myself or the other. Of course if I continue to believe in accidents, victimhood, and being the effect of a cause then the event becomes nothing more than a conflict producing experience that I will create over and over in a thousand different ways. We have free will, but we are only now coming into an awareness of how to exercise it consciously. Free will is not directed by thought. Free will is directed by what Sartre recognized as the thinker of the thoughts. It is through an expanding awareness that every single moment of our lives involves choice. As long as we act automatically we are not free. Choice is freedom.
Bill Marshall
I Second That Emotion.....
If we all really pay attention we would find that a major component of our human experience is
emotion
. Virtually everything we do generates an emotion. Sit in a comfortable chair and we feel relaxed. Jump in a hot shower and we feel comforted. Hugging a puppy makes us feel good. Being unexpectedly hugged by someone who has just run ten miles makes us
feel gross. Your boyfriend forgets your birthday and you feel sad and maybe mad. Name the experience and an emotion will be attached to it, even if it is no more noticeable than a whisper. If emotion is such a large part of our human existence it would follow that maybe it is important to understand what it really is. Let me start out by saying what emotion is not. Emotion is not a reaction. Your sadness that your husband forgot your birthday is not a reaction to his forgetting your birthday even though it appears so. He is not the cause of your emotion. He is the
Trigger
to release what you are subjectively experiencing in that moment.
So, if emotion is not a reaction, as in an
effect of a cause
, then what is it? Drum roll please… EMOTION IS A
COMMUNICATION
. Did I hear someone say, Huh? Emotion is a two part communication that is telling you
something about you in that moment. The first part is the signal, or what we used to call the emotion itself. The signal is the feeling; sad, mad, glad, jealous, frustration, joy, depression, hate, love……. These are all signals alerting us to the communication that we have just received. The feeling is NOT the communication, just as the phone ringing is not the message. Signals/feelings are alerting devices, and in this case the feeling alerts us to the message we have just received. The message offers thought (our translator) precise information regarding what we have generated subjectively (inwardly) in that moment that the signal appeared. Let me back up a bit.
We, as humans, incorporate both a
subjective and an objective awareness
. They work in harmony, which means one does NOT follow the other, just as emotion is not a reaction. Subjective awareness represents our inner world, which is literal, and the objective awareness represents our outer world, which is a symbolic representation of the subjective. Objective imagery is just as symbolic as our dream imagery. OK. Let’s say in one particular moment the subjective
awareness is experiencing a non-acceptance of self. This is quite literal. “I do not like myself very much in this moment.” You can’t get much clearer than that. In exactly the same moment that I am subjectively experiencing a non-acceptance of myself the objective awareness is projecting outwardly through perception a ‘real world’ scenario to represent that subjective non-acceptance of self. You may fail at folding an origami properly and judge yourself. “I suck at this.” Your husband might break wind at the dinner table and you judge him. Remember, to judge another is a reflection of your judgment of self. The objective awareness can create an infinite number of outer manifestations to represent the same literal subjective state.
If we but only pay attention, emotion can be a precise communication, identifying what belief is operative in the moment that you are actually experiencing the emotion. The feeling, again, is not the communication, but rather the signal that we are receiving a communication from our subjective awareness. Why is it important to know the belief that is operative in the moment? Because our beliefs influence
perception
and our perception creates our objective reality. The signal or feeling is there simply to get our attention. So, if embarrassment is the knock on the door or the ring of the phone, then what might the communication be? Let’s pick up the phone and answer the door and look at an example.
You’re at a formal sit-down dinner and you drop a hunk of gravy laden pork on your white chiffon dress. You get the signal (embarrassment) that you have received a communication from your subjective awareness. The signal is supposed to snap your attention back onto yourself. The communication comes by way of the objective
awareness, which created the experience of the dropped pork. Embarrassment is NOT the communication. In the moment that the pork dropped on your dress leaving a big brown stain your subjective awareness was feeling inadequate, clumsy, stupid and judgmental about Self. Why? Our beliefs will tell us why. What are the beliefs that create the feeling of embarrassment? There are probably many and they may differ for each of us, but let’s look at a few. One might be that dropping food on yourself is the sign of a slob. Another might be that people think poorly of slobs. Here, one belief influences another. Another belief might be that drooping food on yourself is indicative of a careless person. Another might be that only children drop food on themselves. When you automatically feel embarrassment then you have turned these beliefs into absolutes. They have become your truths even though they are not true. And when we don’t recognize our individual truths we eliminate choice. We act automatically. Acting automatically is a clear sign that you have turned a belief into an
absolute
.
The point I wish to make in all this is that if we pay attention to what we do in the moment, that moment carries a treasure trove of information about ourselves and what beliefs we are feeding into the film projector called perception. If you continue to believe that emotion is a reaction then you will continue to give our interpreter, which is thought, inadequate information. All that you experience is a
reflection of you. All that is needed is the opening of our eyes. We draw others to us to trigger what is in US so that we may view it outwardly. So the next time your hubby forgets your birthday, thank him for being a willing player in a communication you have configured for your own enlightenment. Or, you can choose to continue in your old ways, blame him for not caring about you, and learn nothing about yourself. Choice is freedom.
Bill Marshall
Doctor, Doctor Give Me The News.....
It has taken me quite some time to square away in my head how to reconcile my beliefs about modern medicine with my understanding of reality creation. Both have evolved over time. Since this is a belief driven reality in that beliefs heavily influence perception, which actually creates our reality, I started out with the
faulty notion, “It’s ONLY a belief.” I also erroneously deduced that the operative belief was the one I THOUGHT I believed, rather than the one that was expressed in the moment. An example here might be helpful. Let’s say I want to lose weight and I say to myself through THOUGHT that I believe losing weight will be easy. This is the belief I think that I believe. So I begin the process and no matter what I do I lose very little weight and suffer during the entire weight loss program. The expressed belief is that losing weight is difficult and painful and so that is the belief that is operative, and not the thought-belief that losing weight is easy. I should probably mention that all of us hold ALL beliefs, but typically express only those that align with our exploration in this focus and our
value fulfillment
. You hold the Hindu belief (not through thought) that Brahma bulls are sacred, but it will be highly unlikely that you will express that belief. What you do is the expression of the belief, which is why it is so important to pay attention to what you do.
So, what does all this have to do with how we address our health? I have a belief that I create my health and my illness, not only consciously, but unconsciously as well. Having said that, I also believe that I hold all beliefs, including my old beliefs about health. What were my old beliefs?
Disease
is caused by an inability of my immune system to ward off microscopic invaders and that some
physical anomalies are the result of a compromise of a particular physical system. In short, I was a
victim
. If I caught a cold I’d take vitamin C and eat chicken soup. My allergies I’d treat with anti-allergy meds. When I came onto this reality creation stuff in the 80’s I started with the erroneous understanding that if I understood the belief I held I wouldn’t have to believe it anymore. NOPE. This is where Elizabeth Kubler Ross erred. She died of lung cancer and until nearly the end had refused to give up smoking because she believed the ill effects of smoking were ONLY beliefs. She didn’t get it that what she was expressing within her body was the belief that smoking kills. THE EXPRESSED BELIEF IS REALITY. It is not JUST a belief. That is not
to say that Elizabeth did not create her lung cancer. She did, but she did it through the operative belief that smoking kills. She also did not die before her time. Her
death
was her choice as was the manner in which she died. But, they were all belief driven. Remember, choice is not driven by thought. It is only when thought interprets correctly that it APPEARS that thought is choosing.
So, I have this belief that if I create all of my reality then I don’t have to buy into all of the mass beliefs about
health
. For the most part I don’t adhere to the mass beliefs about health, but here is the ‘catch’. The mass beliefs about health hold tremendous energy and are not bad beliefs. It is only the
belief system of duplicity
that says some beliefs are good and some beliefs are bad. I have, throughout my life, created a body that is rarely sick.
I did have bad seasonal allergies and regular kidney stones, but was able to uncreate both without medication. I haven’t had an allergy ‘attack’ or a kidney stone in nearly 20 years, just about the time I drew the reality creation concepts into my life. Mostly I choose not to participate within the current medical model, but this is not an absolute, for absolutes deny choice. In understanding that beliefs drive perception and perception creates reality it is important to realize that we are not eliminating beliefs.
So, even when I choose to take a pill it is still me that creates the healing. I am simply utilizing the pill as a focal point to do it. The reason I don’t typically participate in the current medical model is because of a belief I have that the current model instills beliefs that destroy trust in our body’s ability to heal itself. I’m talking about our immune system that has responded to our beliefs that it is not up to the task without pharmaceutical help. But my beliefs in the matter
of health are no better than anyone else’s, even the person that pops forty pills a day. It is their choice and it is just as valid a choice for them as mine is for me. What I try to do is change my subjective awareness in a way that it sends messages of trust to my body consciousness. Trust is an absence of doubt that my body, in the absence of limiting and thwarting beliefs, knows perfectly well how to rev along on all eight cylinders.
Bill Marshall
Re-meh meh remember member
Here’s something that we have all experienced in one form or another. About two weeks ago, maybe more, the child of a dear friend of mine was attacked by several Rottweilers. He’s a tough and brave little dude, but was badly chewed up. I told my wife about it (my memory of this telling is quite clear) and, as expected, she was
aghast; asking me all kinds of questions about the incident. Two days later I gave her an update and was informed that she had no idea the little guy had been attacked. She prides herself on her memory. I knew exactly what was happening and it wasn’t that she was experiencing the insidious onset of Alzheimer’s. If this had happened years ago she and I would have butted heads; me arguing that I did tell her and she arguing that I never told her; me thinking she forgot and she thinking I’m losing my mind. This is how most of us continue to treat such incidents. You’re watching a movie with your partner and she reminisces about the first time you saw that movie together. You’re thinking, I never saw that movie and nothing about it is familiar. What is she talking about?
OK. You know you have experienced this. How you deal with it involves your modern Cartesian mind that says one of you forgot, and that is because you believe there is one and only one
THE REALITY
. It becomes a memory thing because we have no other pot to put the experience in. In my example my wife and I were interactive when I was telling her about the dog attack. She was shocked and fired off a million questions, some of
which I answered and some I couldn’t. It wasn’t that I mentioned the attack while she was knitting and got back an ‘uh huh.’ That’s something I’m more likely to do (not the knitting part – not that there’s anything wrong with that!!). But I’m lucky (there really isn’t such a thing as luck). I have a different pot to put these kinds of anomalies in. Some of you already know about the pot, but most of you have no framework in which to put such experiences and so they all become memory lapses/brain farts. It’s going to take a bit of explaining to describe the pot I put this action into.
The name of my pot is
Attention
. Attention is defined as what I am doing, not necessarily what I am thinking. Attention is action
and can be multi-tasked. You are your attention. That’s sort of a mouthful, so to understand attention I think it requires an understanding of how we manipulate energy. We are all energy and we interact with each other’s energy, but not always with each other’s attention. It is important to understand that attention can move to
thought
, but attention is not thought. Usually, when you are interactive with another individual you are interactive with their attention. Your perception configures their body image pretty much in the manner in which they project their body image to you. And most of the time their attention is interactive with you, and visa versa. In the case of my wife and I, I configured her body image and the conversation, but I was not interactive with her attention. ATTENTION IS NOT THOUGHT. She had no memory of our conversation because her attention was elsewhere. The conversation took place in my reality, but not in hers. The movie experience took place in the wife’s reality, but not in her husbands because she was configuring his energy, but his attention was elsewhere. ATTENTION IS NOT THOUGHT.
My wife did not forget our conversation. There is not a single reality that we all perceive differently. We all create our own reality and usually (but not always)
pretty much like everyone else does. If we didn’t our individual worlds would be far more strange than Alice’s rabbit hole. So memory and attention are two different things. Memory may be a brain function, definitely a time function, and a function of our beliefs, while attention is a consciousness function. We are consciousness; not, consciousness is part of who we are. When we try to memorize a string of 40 digits that function is heavily influenced by our
beliefs"
. Those with photographic memories have no limiting beliefs that their brains are incapable of doing such things. And it is not the belief we believe we believe, it is the belief that is expressed. I can’t just say I believe I can memorize 40 digits and whallah, I do it. The belief that is expressed is that I can only memorize 10 digits and that only those with photographic memories can do 40. The expressed belief is also that only special brains can do such things. If I memorized 40 digits then the expressed belief would be that I can memorize 40 digits.
But this is all different than not remembering something because your attention was not present. Remember, your attention is you. Now, you may have left energy available for my perception to create you and our interaction, but you really weren’t involved. There was nothing for you to remember, just as my conversation with my wife never took place in her reality. It only took place in mine. There is no THE REALITY that we all perceive differently. There are six billion realities and sometimes what we interact with is the energy without the attention.
Now, there also is the time thingy. It’s called simultaneous time and it says that the you that you remember from five years ago exists now. So my wife shifts her attention to two weeks ago and cannot find the experience. This is because the experience never took place in her reality. This is tough to absorb, I know, but our physicists are gradually coming to this conclusion about the simultaneity of time. So here’s some food for thought. If all time is simultaneous, is memory nothing more
than shifting our attention to the time in which the experience existed? This is what I think is happening rather than all of our memories being stored in our brains and requiring some retrieval system to unearth them. Who or what is the retriever? I believe we as consciousness is the retriever and we retrieve all of our memories by shifting our attention to the time the event took place rather than pulling them from some neuron in the brain. I can see some of my more rational friends (you know who you are) rolling their eyes and thinking, “Billy has gone off the deep end.” I haven’t but that is beside the point. With my point of view I no longer get into fights/arguments when someone seemingly forgets an event we mutually participated in. I also no longer blame someone for having a faulty memory or losing their mind and I also let go of my need to be right. My wife and I are both right. The conversation never took place in her reality, but it did in mine.
Bill Marshall
Personal Responsibility
I don’t know of a single person who, at one time or another, hasn’t felt responsible
for another human being. In particular we feel responsible for our children, but we also feel responsible for the feelings our actions may create in others. I want to talk about personal responsibility, but I am going to do it by rephrasing part of an Elias transcript (session 593) and adding some of my own thoughts.
The issue of personal responsibility involves turning your attention away from yourself and onto the creations/experiences of someone else, usually someone you
think needs fixing. In turning your attention onto them you assume responsibility for their reality. We camouflage this action of personal responsibility by calling it caring, compassion, sympathy, helpfulness, guidance and love. We, as
good
individuals, wish to offer help and support to those
we feel are in need. What we are really saying is that the individual that we are feeling responsible toward is not capable of creating their reality as well as I can create it for him. In other words, they make
bad
choices. Most of us in our actions of personal responsibility for others feel that our fixing a part of someone else’s reality will make their lives better and happier.
Now, we may say to ourselves: “I create my own reality and others create their reality,” but the underlying belief is quite different, and it is our actions that express the underlying belief. Put another way, what we do will reveal the operative belief. What we really believe is that we create our reality some of the time and others create their reality some of the time, but we know what is best for them. It works the other way as well. We believe that others can create our reality at times without our permission. This is the expression of victim.
It is important that we understand what assuming personal responsibility for others really is and how often we do it. We do it all the time. Assuming personal responsibility for others dooms us to failure. We fail because it is impossible for us to create anyone’s reality other than our own. Not only can we not create another’s reality, we cannot even influence another’s reality without their agreement. That agreement can be either subjective (what we call unconscious) or objective (what we call conscious), but without that agreement we will have no influence. If you lock your child in his room to keep him from hitting the streets to buy drugs and he stays in his room because he can’t get out, it is not you who has kept him in his room. It is him. He has subjectively agreed with you and has objectively created his own locked door. If he wasn’t in subjective agreement he would objectively be out on the streets. It looks like you created his reality, but
without his subjective agreement he’d be snorting a line of coke. What this means is that our influence is based upon the choice of another to receive our influence. This is not done by thought although at times it seems as though thought has decided to agree. If you’ve read some of my posts you understand that thought interprets and does not create.
All of this represents the power of choice, and choice is never denied. This is what we call free will and it is an innate element of each of us. Now, since underlying this reality is the reality of non-separation then each time we express personal responsibility for another we are simultaneously discounting ourselves. When we discount another in their ability to create their own reality we are discounting ourselves.
The rest of this post are some thoughts I have on what I just interpreted Elias as saying. Not taking personal responsibility for someone else does not mean we subjugate our natural inclination toward compassion. Compassion is defined as
understanding without judgment. It is acceptance through understanding that individuals create perfectly within their intent and value fulfillment. Understanding without judgment facilitates the expression of love. So how can we be compassionate without taking personal responsibility for the person we are feeling compassionate toward; be it husband, wife, child, friend or any of the billions of the down-and-outers? We do it by following our preferences and our individual guidelines without holding any expectations as to the outcome. For
instance, it is part of my guidelines to provide financial support to my children until they are through with college. I don’t expect their gratitude, although I seem to get it. I don’t expect them to do anything with their education other than what they desire to do with it. If they ask my advice I give it, but without any expectation that they will follow my advice. I am not responsible for their feelings, just as they are not responsible for mine. We may trigger each other’s feelings, but we are not responsible for them. To think otherwise would make each of us victims of each other.
Expectations regarding outcomes often block the outcome we desire. Remember how you felt when you gave a gift and didn’t receive a thank you? When you give a buck to a panhandler do you hope he will spend it wisely? If so, then this is an expectation. I give because it makes me feel good. This is my preference. There are no strings attached to my compassion. I require nothing for it. Worry and guilt are not a part of compassion, but can be a large part of taking personal responsibility for someone else. So, be compassionate without expectations, but eliminate your tendency to take personal responsibility for others. Follow your own guideline and preferences, while holding no one else to the ones you follow. I think you will be quite surprised at the outcome of such a change in your behavior.
Bill Marshall
Coffee
This appeared in the news on 1/21/2008. “Drinking a couple cups of coffee a day has long been considered safe during pregnancy, but a new study finds that even this modest amount of coffee could double a woman’s risk of miscarriage.”
So, what choices do we have when confronted with this kind of information? If we don’t drink coffee it doesn’t impact us at all, but if you are a woman, pregnant and a coffee fanatic then this kind of info probably gave you the shakes. It seems to me that science has made virtually everything hazardous to our health and when everything is hazardous we all become the infamous Seinfeld bubble boy, or we decide that the science can’t be right. We live in an age where cause-and-effect is king,
and have therefore taken on as truth all that science tells us. It becomes an absolute, and as an absolute we don’t question it. This is why the pregnant coffee-lover trembles at such headlines. This is why we wash our hands forty-two times and day and this is why we allow fingers and probes to explore our asses and vaginas. We allow this because of our beliefs, which we hold as absolutes, or as our scientists tell us, facts. Put more simply, we believe that facts are truths.
It is a fact for most of us that we can be attacked by bacteria and by viruses. It is a fact that too much of this or too little of that can affect our bodies in myriad ways. It is a fact that if you drink Drano your plumbing system is going to
be in for a rough ride. These facts, or beliefs-held-in-the-absolute as I like to refer to them, are not illusions. Down a shot glass full of Drano and you’ll know real quick. It is our belief in these facts that either keep us away from dangerous situations, like drinking Drano, or make us victims to others, like viruses or bacteria or mutating cells. But, you may have noticed if you’ve been keeping up with my blog, that I’m a pretty big proponent of the I’m-not-a victim thing.
When we catch a cold most of us see ourselves as the victim of the cold virus. When I catch a cold I see it as my creation. We all get colds, but I’ll bet you a cup of coffee (pregnant women excluded) that mine will last half as long as yours as long as you see yourself as a victim of the cold virus. My last cold lasted 2 days and was very mild. I think I created it so that I could show myself how quickly I could
get rid of it. See, that is the difference between being a victim of one’s reality and creating one’s reality. There is information about me in every experience I create. For me life has become a game and the game includes all of the emotions we currently experience. And I must say, that it feels great not blaming someone or something for both the good things and the bad things that I experience. Notice that I didn’t say, ‘happens to me.’ When you realize that you create it all then nothing HAPPENS to you. Everything becomes choice. Then it becomes important to understand how you choose, because thought does not choose. But before any of this can take place a remake of our notions regarding who we are has to begin.
If you believe that facts are immutable cosmic truths then I advise all pregnant women who love coffee to stop drinking it if you want to reduce your risk of miscarriage. If you believe that facts are beliefs held as absolutes then you have a choice if you are pregnant and love coffee. Identify the beliefs, accept them (there’s going to be many more than one) and then choose. Remember, acceptance means no judgment. Many who read my blog already understand choice, but many others don’t. Those others argue that we create some things, but not all things. I understand why
you hold this position, because I held it once myself. But, it was all the questions that arose while holding that position that led me to where I am now. Choice and a self-created reality works for me and I understand quite well that I am part of a distinctly small minority in my thinking. Maybe I write these posts to gain some company, but I mainly write them because I like to. I hope you like them as well. And remember, you can like something without agreeing with it.
Bill Marshall
The Chooser
Choice is a big word that carries some big weight. What bigger freedom is there than the freedom to choose? But what is it, exactly, that chooses. Historically we have given the honor of choosing to the conscious mind. That is to say that if we did not consciously choose what happens to us then what happened to us was not through
choice. The thinking goes that if I stub my toe it was certainly not through choice. I did not say to myself before stubbing my toe: “Hey, I’m going to stub my toe on the leg of that chair.” Who in their right mind would consciously stub their toe? Who in their right mind would choose cancer? Rationally speaking it makes complete sense that no one would choose cancer. No one would choose a dysfunctional relationship. No one would choose any of the myriad forms of unpleasantness that seems to befall all of us. But our understanding of choice is based on a couple of things; the most important of which is our definition of consciousness. How we understand the mechanism of choice is also based on our understanding of
ourselves; who we are and where have we come from. Throw in our current understanding of reality and it is no wonder that we think we choose some of the things in our lives, but certainly not all of the things. We create some of our reality, but certainly not all of it.
One of the definitions of being conscious is to be capable of thought, will, or perception. Thought is defined as the act, process, or power of thinking. Call me skeptical, but this sure seems to put consciousness in a
tiny little box, just as tiny as the box we put ourselves in. Certainly our entry into this world was not by choice.
Right?
We didn’t choose our parents.
Right?
Who we are was the result of chance; the random joining of just one of millions of sperm cells with an egg. Certainly the egg and the sperm are not conscious, although it does almost seem as if the egg consciously chooses the one sperm it allows into its hallowed inner sanctum, thereby producing our physical form. So who are we and where do we come from? Are we the result of a coincidental joining of
one sperm and one egg. Science says we are. To what purpose are we thrown randomly into the world of form and matter? Could it be that our greatest misconception is our understanding of consciousness itself? Is consciousness only contained within the gray matter of the human brain, or is the human brain merely our conduit through which consciousness expresses itself in the human body? In my view the brain is much like our TV sets. The images are not produced in the set. The TV merely configures the images sent from elsewhere.
And what about reality? Is your perception of reality more right than mine? Do our dreams pierce
a veil that keeps other realities at bay while we are awake? Or, are our dreams nothing more than mind residue as our scientists like to tell us. Science loves to break down and separate and put things into categories. We have an ego, a conscious mind and a rather large unconscious mind. But since we believe that consciousness is created by matter and that it exists within matter we have placed it in a far back seat on the bus. You can’t drive the bus from the back seat. So, when it comes to choice there is no way we can conceive of choice except volitionally through the conscious mind. When we hold this understanding of consciousness and choice we can be nothing but victims whenever thought does not choose.
The way we understand consciousness and choice makes it impossible for us to move into total self-responsibility and acceptance of what it is we
do
create. Our understanding prevents us from trusting that what we do create in each moment is part of a process that gets us to what we want. The process may not be what we expect, but through trusting whatever the process brings we will manifest what it is we want. I had set a goal of running the
Marine Corp Marathon (26.2 miles) in October 2007 with my three buddies. My training was going well (according to expectations) until July, when I tore my right calf muscle. I was reduced to walking and using an elliptical trainer. I’d run some but if I pushed things my calf would tear again. This part was not according to expectation and I began to doubt that I would be able to run the marathon. After all, who could run a marathon by training on an elliptical? I knew I chose the calf tear (yes, I’m in my right mind), but I had moved out of the trust mode because this process of a torn calf and elliptical training had never led me to a successful marathon before.
But then I got it. I created a challenge for myself and I was not trusting the method of accomplishing the goal. From that point on (about a month before the marathon) I trusted the process – torn calf, elliptical and all – and knew I would finish the marathon. There was no doubt. I was not a victim of poor biomechanics, or bad luck or even myself. I chose everything that happened on my way to finishing the marathon. Yes, I chose it, but not by way of thought. Thought is not the chooser. Thought interprets that which is chosen. Consciousness is the who, what and where of who each of us is, and it ain’t stuck in the brain. You are the chooser whether you like it or not.
Once you own that you become free. Freedom is a very nice feeling.
Bill Marshall
Knowing, Trust and Doubt
I have recently come to an awareness of the power of knowing, trust and doubt. I have come to understand them more as feelings than words and definitions, which are symbolic of the feelings they evoke. Knowing is different than my understanding that 2+2=4, or that my cat’s name is Magic. True knowing requires no THOUGHT. My reaching
for my cup of coffee that sits before me, bringing it to my lips and taking a sip is knowing. I projected a desire of wanting a sip of coffee and just did it. I didn’t doubt that I could reach for it and do it. I didn’t think that I had to move my arm toward the cup, move the cup to my lips and then sip from the cup. I knew without thought, just as I breathe without thought and walk without thought. Walking, however, is a wee bit different in that I project a destination, a goal so-to speak. I don’t doubt that I will walk to where I want to go. I trust in the process, but I don’t think about the trust, for the knowing is already in place.
How does knowing, trust and doubt relate to creating what we want? Throughout most of our day we are in knowing mode. We just do and expect the realization of the doing. When we are in knowing mode the only time thought comes into play is when we translate into words our desire to do something. “I’m going to the grocery store,” is thought’s translation of a desire. Going to the store is knowing and the process of getting there involves trust. When I trust I do not question the process of how I get to the grocery store. In this example the feeling of doubt does not enter the picture. So, again, most of our day is filled with knowing. It is when we project a
desire that does not include knowing that we find ourselves struggling.
Let me give you a personal example. About eight months ago my buddies and I decided to run the Marine Corp Marathon (26.2 mi.) in Washington, D.C. on October 28th. When the goal was first set I was filled with knowing that I would complete the distance with my buddies, as I had run many marathons over the years. For those of you that
have run marathons you may be aware that the training involved is more rigorous than the marathon itself, as it takes several months to work up to the 26.2 mile distance. The goal was set and the process began. At first everything was going according to plan, until June when I tore my calf muscle on my right leg. This opened the floodgates to doubt. My thinking went wild because I couldn’t train the way I THOUGHT I had to train for a marathon. It turned out that my knowing was conditional upon the process. As long as the process went according to my expectations my knowing held up. The process, by the way, is what I DO and not what I think, as it turns out.
Doubt lead to a lack of trust in the process, and when these two messages come knocking at your door, knowing hides under the bed. As long as I did not trust my process of getting to the finish line of the marathon I would experience doubt. I’ve
been working with this create-your-own-reality stuff for twenty years now and one of the things I know about myself is that I love challenges. What I didn’t realize was how much I was not paying attention to and trusting in the process of getting to my projected desire. I was fine with trust as long as the process went according to my expectations. Those powerful beliefs that I held in the absolute went unrecognized by me until about a month before the marathon when I drew (law of attraction) to me information about knowing, trust and doubt. The process involves the now and it is only in the now that we can create our future.
I finally decided to ACCEPT (not judge) the process, calf tears and all, and began to trust the process again, but without expectations. This led to many beliefs I had regarding what it takes to run a marathon. When I identified the expressed (what I do) beliefs I found that I could choose differently. This all took practice, for it was a different way of addressing my own reality. I got back to the knowing by
trusting that no matter what I created within the process the projection of my desire would manifest itself. Ultimately what mattered was the projected desire and not how I got to the manifestation of the desire. How I got there was the process, which required trust and keeping expectations at bay. Had it not been for my understanding of the
concepts that go into creating one’s own reality I would not have attempted to run the marathon with the level of training I had. When I toed the line on race day I knew I would finish because I had trusted the process that got me there.
We can manifest any desire by simply projecting the desire and accepting everything that happen in between the projection and its manifestation in our lives. If you want to draw a romantic relationship into your life simply project the desire and
get on with your life. Your life is the process. Trust it. You don’t need to join a social club, unless you want to. You don’t need to hit the clubs, unless you want to. But, no matter what process you undertake let go of the expectations that that particular process will get you what you want. You may be choosing a different way to draw a romantic relationship into your life. Let it unfold without judgment.
Bill Marshall
Gideon McGee's Dream: Chapter Nine
To speed the Earth’s birth and evolution into the span of a mere thirty minutes was a feat that no humanly-built computer could ever hope to duplicate, at least not the way Gideon was about to see it. He hung suspended in the blackness that filled the gap between the moon and Earth, while Zacharaias displayed before him the unimaginable power, splendor, and beauty that is the Earth. He watched as spiraling gases condensed to form a red-hot orb tens of thousands of miles in circumference. He watched as the orb cooled from the surface inward forming a molten core that could only release its constantly building pressure through vents to the surface called volcanoes.
The early Earth was dynamic and active, much like a toddler, changing constantly and exhibiting a ferocious temper. Gideon watched as the Earth took its first breath, forming an atmosphere that could support its immanent offspring. He saw the rains like he had never seen rain before, enough rain to fill several oceans and seas to a depth of five miles. The monsoons of the Far East were a mere foggy mist in comparison. It was as though the Earth itself was preparing to give birth.
Before Gideon’s eyes the surface changed from red to brown to green, while the oceans took on several hues of blue. He watched as the one land mass the scientists called Pangaea split apart and came together then split apart again. He saw India sail into and under the Asian coast, and, in a cataclysmic birthing process, the Himalayas appeared. He watched the Ice Ages come and go and Gideon thought of his own breathing. The American Southwest, once the bottom of a vast ocean, was thrust five thousand feet above sea level to unite what is now the North American Continent. The process was dynamic and ever changing, and, had it taken place one thousandth of one percent closer or farther from the sun, the Earth would never have been able to sustain life.
“You can look at it as a cosmic coincidence if you like,” Zack said, “but the Earth knew exactly where to be born in order to fulfill its function. It is conscious, Gideon, and deserves our respect and love for all it has done and continues to do for us.”
“That was wild, Zack. The Earth is perpetually moving and changing, just like us. It has more faces than we do. Thanks for showing me such a spectacular process that I had taken so much for granted.”
“You are most welcome, my friend. But there is something you must know. What I just showed you was based upon your own beliefs. In your reality everything is created anew in each and every moment and is reflective of your own beliefs. Enough already, we are off to visit with the Tree Clingers.”
“What’s so special about the Tree Clingers?” Gideon asked. He scratched his nose and wondered why it itched with no real body to support it.
“They are special in their ignorance of their potential.
Their fear has forced them to choose safety rather than the life fully-lived. You will see in a moment. Since you are ready to be your own thought-pilot you may lead the way.”
“How do I get us there?”
“All you need to do is think of being in the Land of the Tree Clingers and you will be there. Nothing else is necessary.”
“Okay,” Gideon said. “Here goes.” He closed his eyes, although this was not necessary, thought of the Land of the Tree Clingers, although he didn’t know who or where they were, and then opened his eyes. Zacharaias was still by his side smiling broadly, while he and Gideon stood in the middle of what appeared to be a tropical rain forest.
“This is too weird,” Gideon said. “I think I like it better when we take a little time to get to where we’re going. It seems more real.”
Zack took Gideon by the hand. “Come,” he said. “Let us explore a bit.” They set off on a walking tour of the forest that was extraordinarily lush in both vegetation and wildlife. At first glance the flora and fauna appeared much like the varieties found on Earth, but there was one major difference.
“Do you notice anything odd about what you see, Gideon?” Zack asked, unable to control his incessant urge to teach.
Gideon thought for a moment, and then noticed a large snake, similar in every way to an Earthly python, grazing on thick green blades of jungle-grass. He saw what looked like a leopard lounging in the lower branches of a tree, feasting on broad dark-green leaves.
“I thought snakes and leopards eat meat?” Gideon said, sure of himself on this one.
“On Earth they do,” Zack replied. “Look! Over to your left.”
Gideon turned as directed and saw a lion, and what appeared to be a lamb, drinking side by side at a small forest stream.
“Why isn’t the lamb afraid of the lion?” Gideon asked.
“Because in the Land of the Tree Clingers there are no carnivores, no meat eaters. The lamb drinks beside the lion for she knows she is not part of the lion’s food chain. The lamb has no fear.”
“But if there are no meat eaters there are no predators. Why isn’t the Land of the Tree Clingers overrun with animals? With no natural enemies how is each species’ population kept in check?” Gideon remembered his studies of the animal kingdom and that the food chains kept each species’ population from exploding. By rights he and Zack should be waist deep in snakes and rats and all the other animals that breed in great numbers.
“Here the animals keep their numbers down through a less active and less bountiful reproductive system. For instance, that snake you saw eating grass normally lays 30-50 eggs a year on the Earth. But here, because there are no natural predators the female mates once every five years and lays only one egg.
“The Land of the Tree Clingers holds no trauma for all but one species,” Zack said, and then awaited the question he knew would come.
Gideon, growing in wisdom in his spirit form, surprised his guide. “That species would be the Tree Clingers, right?”
“Very good, Gideon.”
“Where are they? I can’t see up into the trees because the foliage is so dense. And now that I think of it, I haven’t seen any birds here.”
“There is only one winged species here, and, if you look closely, you can see their droppings under every large tree.”
Gideon looked at the base of a tree so large that two Mack trucks could drive through it side by side if a tunnel were carved for them to do so. At the bottom of the tree, spread out over a circular area the diameter of which Gideon estimated to be at least three hundred feet, were thousands of large greenish brown Tree Clinger droppings in various conditions of decay. The vegetation within the circle was more lush and verdant than anywhere else.
“Potent fertilizer,” Gideon joked, “but I’d hate to have one fall on me. They’re pretty big. The Tree Clingers must be huge birds.”
“The rest of the wildlife is most appreciative of the Tree Clingers for their droppings, although they’ve never set eyes on them. Let’s go up and pay them a visit.”
Gideon and Zack materialized at the top of the forest canopy, and still Gideon could not see the Tree Clingers.
“Where are they?” he asked. “They must be about the size of a human to produce such big droppings, but I can’t see them anywhere. I can’t see them from the forest floor, and I can’t see them from the forest canopy.”
“Remember, Gideon, the Tree Clingers are the most fearful species in the Universe, and what they fear the most is the unknown, better known as change. We must descend through the top layer of the canopy to find the Tree Clingers.”
As they descended at the speed of a falling snowflake the Tree Clingers appeared before them. There were thousands. The jungle canopy rose three hundred feet above the jungle floor and the entire world of the Tree Clingers took place between one hundred feet and two hundred feet, no higher, no lower. Their tribe was laid out similar to what Gideon visualized as an inverse Bell curve. In that middle one hundred feet they arranged themselves in the shape of a pyramid, a single Tree Clinger at the two-hundred foot boundary, and at least one hundred of them at the lower one-hundred foot boundary. All the other Tree Clingers were arranged in descending numbers as one ascended the tree, and all trees were laid out in the same pyramid form.
This hierarchal arrangement was odd enough, but nothing in comparison to what the Tree Clingers looked like. They were human in every respect but two. Their human legs tapered down to the ankle, and then, expecting to see human feet, Gideon saw bird’s feet large enough to wrap around the thickest tree branch. Growing from the middle of their shoulder blades was a pair of tri-fold white wings, much like that of a bat. A fine white skin covered the thin but strong wing bones that were tucked tightly against their backs. Gideon estimated that if they were fully expanded they would span twenty feet. Their arms and hands were human.
“Wow, I’d give anything for a set of wings like those. Do they only fly at night?” Gideon asked. “I don’t see any of them in the air.”
“Why don’t you ask them?” Zack replied.
“You mean they can see us and hear us?”
“As plainly as you can see and hear them.”
Gideon went to the branch upon which stood the top Tree Clinger. “Uh... excuse me, Sir...could I speak with you? My name is Gideon McGee.”
“My, oh my,” the top Tree Clinger moaned in a chirpy kind of voice. “More visitors. You come and you go, you come and you go, and we never remember what it was you came for, or what you had to say to us. We have wonderful memories for everything else, but we can’t retain any memory of your visits. You are like a dream to us. You say your name is Gideon?”
“Yes, and this is my guide, Zacharaias.”
The top Tree Clinger tore a broad leaf from the branch, and began munching. Gideon noticed that the branch immedi¬ately sprouted a new bud from which a replacement leaf began to grow. The Tree Clinger burped and introduced himself.
“I am Jester, King of this particular tree, dispenser of justice, and carrier of the Lore of this tribe, which happens to be the same lore as every other tree tribe.” King Jester reached for another leaf and offered it to his guests. His gesture being refused, he ate it himself, and then broke wind.
Gideon laughed. “Do you eat anything else beside these leaves?” he asked, unable to imagine a more boring diet.
This time King Jester manufactured a belch that no two Sumo wrestlers burping together could have matched. Gideon was impressed. It must be all that fiber, he thought.
“Eat anything else?” King Jester bellowed indignantly. “There is nothing else to eat. Look around you. Do you see anything other than these leaves?”
“Not here, but there are many varieties of vegetation down below,” Gideon replied.
“There is nothing but broad leaves all the way down to the lowliest dung-covered Tree Clingers. I challenge you to produce any other green thing between here and there.”
“You’re right, King Jester,” Gideon said. “Between you and the lowliest one-hundred there is nothing but green broad-leaves, but I noticed one hundred feet above you the top of your tree is lush with berries and flowers. Having been on the ground I can assure you that there’s a world of delicacies down there as well.”
“You are either crazy or sent by the devil herself. Our first Law as Tree Clingers is ‘A Tree Clinger shalt not trespass above two hundred feet’. Our second Law as Tree Clingers is ‘A Tree Clinger shalt not trespass below one hundred feet’. These are the Laws of our tribe.”
“Why don’t you just fly to the top of the tree and see for yourself?” Gideon suggested.
“We have everything we need here. Tree Clingers have never gone hungry; as you can see.” King Jester proudly patted his protruding belly. Gideon was reminded of his Algebra teacher Mr. Numer. “And what is this ‘fly’ you speak of?”
“You know,” Gideon said, flapping his arms, “Fly. Spread your wings and soar into the air. Fly!”
It occurred to King Jester that Gideon might be referring to the curse, the hideous growths that grew out of the backs of all Tree Clingers. “You’re not talking about these monstrosities, are you?” King Jester asked, pointing disdainfully to the wings on his back.
Gideon turned to Zacharaias, who merely shrugged his shoulders. “You’re doing fine, Gideon. Continue.”
“Those glorious appendages you refer to as monstrosities are called wings. They can take you places you’ve never imagined. You can soar into the wind and dance among the clouds. Is there not a one of you that has ever flown?” Gideon asked.
As carrier of the lore of the Tree Clingers, King Jester reached far back into his conscious mind, which was not far at all, before answering.
“There is something,” King Jester said softly, his chirp barely registering on Gideon’s ears. “Before our Law was written in bark, legend has it that one Tree Clinger, his name long forgotten, climbed to the topmost branch of the tree and never returned. For all I know his bones may be bleaching in the sun, entwined in the highest branches of this tree.”
“I saw no bones at the top of your tree. Did you, Zack?”
“I can assure you, King Jester,” Zack said. “There are no bones bleaching in the sun at the top of this tree.”
Gideon thought of another tack to take in enlightening King Jester. “Why did God give you hands?” he asked.
“To hold our daily leaves, to assist our young. There are many uses for hands, as you well know, having a pair of your own.”
“Why do you have eyes?”
“To see.”
“Why do you have ears?”
“To hear.”
“Why do you have teeth?”
“To grind our daily leaves.”
“Is there any part of your body, other than your wings, that has no purpose?” Gideon asked, sure that King Jester must be getting his point by now.
King Jester pondered this question for a moment, his eyes darting from body part to body part as if only by looking at them could he think of them. Finally after mentally and visually touring his Tree Clinger body he silently shook his head from side to side.
“Then why do you think you were given those two gossamer appendages on your back?” Gideon asked.
King Jester answered without hesitation. “Questions, questions. So many questions,” He chirped. “Any fool knows that they are our punishment for our First Mistake. Our Law tells us the first Tree Clinger was brazen enough to think that she was made of the same stuff as the Creator, that she and the Creator were one. She did not believe as we do that the Creator is there.” King Jester pointed upward. “And we are here.
For this First Mistake of wrong-thinking, that we are more than we appear to be, all future generations of Tree Clingers were to be born with the curse. These grotesque encumbrances on our back are to remind us of our place.”
Gideon shook his head in despair. It was a lost cause trying to convince the King to change his mind, but then Kings, and all those who held power, always had the most to lose by new ideas, by changing the status quo. “Do you mind if we talk with some other Tree Clingers?” he asked.
“Be my guest. Yes, yes. I say, be my guest. But you won’t change any minds. No, indeed. You won’t. You won’t. We want for nothing, and, even if this curse could allow us to fly, as you say, why would anyone want to fly into the unknown? It is safe here.”
“Thank you for your time, King Jester,” Gideon said. He was happy to leave, as the pitch of the King’s chirp was beginning to make his ears ring.
“No problem. No, no problem at all. Oh, I should warn you and your friend to look out for falling dung. The lower you go the more likely you are to have some fall on you. It is an inevitable part of Tree Clinger life, but a small price to pay for our safety and comfort.”
It wouldn't be inevitable, Gideon thought, if you’d shed your fears and superstitions, and learn to fly.
The center section of the tree was the most befouled by Tree Clinger dung, for there was always someone above. The outermost branches were free from soiling, for in the pyramid design of their society no one perched above the outer branches. Being curious and not wanting Tree Clinger dung to fall through his spirit body, Gideon chose to speak to the lucky girl with no perchers above her. He moved to a middle level outer branch and struck up a conversation with the teenage girl, who, had it not been for her bird feet, would have made a great date back on Earth, wings or no wings. It did not pass Gideon’s attention that the Tree Clingers had no need for clothes, although umbrellas would have come in handy.
“My, oh my. More visitors,” the beautiful young Tree Clinger said. She eyed Gideon admiringly, and thought it a pity he had such strange feet, although she was impressed that he was not cursed. Her chirp was softer and had a mellifluous tone to it, more like a dove than a chipmunk.
Gideon introduced himself and Zacharaias. He learned the girl’s name was Falola, and that she was sixteen-years-old. Of course, the world of the Tree Clingers took only three hundred days to circle its sun, so in Earth-time she was only fourteen. Falola believed the same confining drivel about her wings as did King Jester, but she seemed more curious than the King.
“How do you know about wings and flying?” Falola asked.
“Where I come from the skies are full of flying creatures. We call them birds, and we envied their ability to fly so much that we made machines to take us into the sky. If I had your wings, Falola, I’d be off this dung-covered tree and into the air in a heart beat.”
Falola looked up and saw the sun was almost directly overhead. “Oh my, oh my. In just a few minutes my time at the outer edge of my branch will be over. I’m enjoying our talk so much. Would you move in with me? It’s not as bad as you might imagine. We Tree Clingers are quite used to it.”
“Why do you have to move in? Aren’t your places permanently assigned?”
“To a branch, yes,” Falola explained. “But there is movement along the branch. Time on the outermost edge, where you find me now, is awarded for meritorious behavior. Curiosity is frowned upon, and asking questions is definitely taboo. Since I went an entire week without asking a question or being curious about anything I was awarded half a day at the outer position.”
“And I assume the middle positions are for offenders of these taboos,” Gideon guessed.
“Yes. Unfortunately I spend much of my time there, but the broad leaves are as abundant as the dung. So I never go hungry, and it rains at least once a day. Showering is our greatest pleasure, as you may have guessed.
“Sometimes I think I’m defective or must be a direct descendant of the maker of the First Mistake, for I am curious all the time. I ask questions about everything. I don’t know how I went a week without asking one, but I really wanted to experience the outer position, just once.”
A revolutionary in the making, Gideon thought. He turned to Zack and whispered his plan. Zacharaias agreed, and Gideon turned back to Falola.
“Falola,” Gideon began, “you have an opportunity here that may never come your way again. And being the dreamer that you are, you’ll regret it the rest of your life if you don’t take it.”
“Take what, Gideon?” Falola asked, a puzzled look clouding her hazel brown eyes.
“Zack and I want to spread your wings. That’s all, just spread your wings. None of your fellow Tree Clingers will do it for you, for their hearts are filled with laws, rules, and fear, all based on beliefs, not truths. I promise you’ll not be hurt. You may have to spend some time in the middle for it, but that’s nothing you’re not used to and, as you said, it rains every day. What do you say?”
All of her life Falola had felt different than the other Tree Clingers. There was something in her that wanted more out of life than eating broad leaves and washing dung from her body, something that longed to know if there was a world outside the Tribal Tree. She was afraid, but her longing overpowered her conditioned judgment.
“Are you sure it won’t hurt?” she asked. “No one has ever done this before.” Her bird claws began to loosen their grip on the branch.
“One Tree Clinger has. You know the legend,” Gideon said.
“You mean the legend of the Tree Clinger that climbed to the top of the tree and disappeared?” Falola asked.
“Yes, but he didn’t just vanish into thin air. He spread his wings and discovered the world. He realized his beliefs were not truths.”
Falola looked around and noticed several Tree Clingers breaking the curiosity taboo.
They were looking directly at Gideon, Zack and her. Maybe there are others that think like me, she thought.
Falola took a deep breath. “Okay. Middle of the tree, here I come. Stretch away!”
Gideon and Zacharaias slowly stretched Falola’s satin-white wings. Not being fully grown, her wingspan fell four feet short of Gideon’s twenty-foot estimate. It was enough, however, to catch a gust of wind and lift Falola off her branch.
“Don’t be afraid,” Gideon said calmly. “Zack and I are right here with you. Trust yourself above all else.”
“But, I am afraid,” Falola said. Her body trembled, but her face belied the excitement she felt. Ten Tree Clingers, their curiosity getting the best of them, earned a place in the middle of the tree.
“Move your wings up and down,” Gideon instructed the fledgling flier. “Catch the wind and live the life you were meant to live.”
Slowly at first, but then with increasing confidence, Falola began to use her wings. Since she had no idea how to maneuver, Gideon and Zack guided her to the top of the tree.
“From here there is nothing in your way, Falola,” Zack said. “Learn to use your wings and then return to bring enlighten¬ment to the rest of the Tree Clingers.”
“But they’ll never take me back. I’ve violated every rule of our Law.”
“It will not be easy, but a life fully lived never is. Many will curse your name, for they fear change, but some will learn from your example, and break the bonds of their fear. They will finally learn that what they took as truths were belief driven; true for them, but not a cosmic truth.”
Falola hesitated only long enough to say her thanks and to attend to one minor bodily function before spreading her wings once more, and soaring into the Land of the Tree Clinger sky. King Jester, for the first time in his life, experienced the distinct displeasure of being the recipient of what he had for years rained down upon his fellow Tree Clingers below him.
Gideon McGee's Dream: Chapter Eight
The Diamond Universe was much like Gideon’s own, but like any twin there were many subtle differences. It occurred to Gideon that he knew the name of the Diamond Universe, but didn’t know the name of his own, so he asked his guide.
“They all belong to you,” Zack replied.
Maybe they all belong to me, but I live in another Universe. What’s the name of the Universe in which I live?”
Zack smiled. “You live in them all, Gideon, but if you mean the one where you lie at the bottom of Round Pond, it is called the Gold Universe.”
A wave of goose bumps crawled across Gideon’s ethereal flesh as his mind struggled with the information he had just received. It was more startling than any of the other surprises Zack had pulled from his magician’s hat. “Are you telling me I’m not the only me?” Flies would have had easy access to Gideon McGee's mouth had there been any to take advantage of its gaping yaw.
“There are as many Gideons as there are Universes,” Zack chuckled, delighted in the effect his disclosure created.
“And I suppose there are an infinite number of Universes.”
Zack smiled again and nodded. “Each one of you in some way influences the rest. There are an infinite number of possibilities that your life could have lived out, and each of these actualizes in another Universe.”
The soul is no puny thing, Gideon remembered Zack saying. “Is that why you said I’m a spotlight of the beam?” he asked.
“But remember, you are the beam as well. Soul lives out all of life’s possibilities in physical reality and non-physical reality. This is why I said the soul in no puny thing,” Zack said after having read Gideon’s mind. “Come! We need not concern ourselves with this right now, but if you will look to your left at approximately nine o’clock you will see a most familiar sight.”
Their speed was slow enough so the heavenly bodies held their form and color. Gideon looked as he was directed, and exactly where Zack had pointed was the planet Earth and its single moon.
“I’m going to wake up and all of this is going to be a dream,” Gideon said. “Is that what I think it is?” Gideon pointed to the planet suspended like a jewel in front of him.
“Each Universe is an image of every other. What differs is the soul activity that takes place within each. What you see is Earth, but Earth as it was in the year 520 BC. The Land of What is Good? What is Bad? will be found in China of that year.”
“And I’ll bet there’s a lesson to be learned there,” Gideon said sarcastically. His tone and words were said out of habit, but his feeling of excitement was new.
“There is meaning in everything, if we but pay attention,” Zack answered. “There are no such things as coincidences or accidents. Every event has meaning if your eyes are open to see,
and your ears ready to hear. We will be observers in the Land of What is Good? What is Bad? The people will not be able to see us. It will be like watching a movie except we’ll be interwoven into the scene like invisible thread.”
Before heading for their specific destination Zacharaias took Gideon on a tour of the Earth, as it had been 2500 years earlier. The layout of the planet was much as it is today, with twenty-five centuries being nothing more than a single cosmic breath in terms of geological change.
“Notice anything different?” Zack asked, as they thought-traveled from continent to continent.
“If I had to sum it up,” Gideon said, scratching his chin, and marveling at his heightened ability to think, “it would have to be the effect 2500 years of civilization had on the planet.”
“And what does that look like?”
“The air is as clear as a pane of glass, even on the east coast of North America. And the forests look so different.”
“How do you mean different?” Zack asked, prodding his pupil to answer his own questions.
“The trees are older,” Gideon answered. “They’re so much bigger and taller than the big ones the timber industry cuts down today. They almost seem wise, as though they’ve actually absorbed the history they’ve lived through. Looking at them reminds me of the Gatekeeper, but they’re only trees, aren’t they?”
Zack smiled at the blossoming wisdom his charge was exhibiting.
“What are you smiling at?” Gideon asked.
“Oh, nothing,” Zack replied, regaining his composure. “Describe to me what you see.”
Zack was teaching by asking questions, for he knew Gideon already had the answers deep within him.
“I see paradise,” Gideon said. “Is this what you meant when you said, ‘Paradise is in front of our noses, but we’re too blind to see it?’”
Zack remained still, and in his stillness answered Gideon’s question.
“Does it seem to you that I’m getting smarter?” Gideon asked. “I mean... I don’t think I’d be able to answer your questions before I went to the bottom of Round Pond. I always thought I was stupid.”
“In your Spirit-form you have no hang-ups, as you call them. Your energy flows freely, and you are able to tap into your ancient wisdom. After all, you were there at the beginning with the Creator. This increase in wisdom happens gradually, of course, but I can see that even in the eye-blink of time we’ve been together, you have begun to tap into your source.”
“I thought it was something like that,” Gideon lied.
“I see you are also clinging to some of your old ways, my young friend,” Zack said, referring to the lie. “No matter. This is all quite natural.”
Gideon would have turned red had he been in his physical body. Being caught in a lie was always humiliating for him, and he had lied often.
“Is there an Earth somewhere that is in the future?” Gideon asked. “It would be cool to have my own crystal ball.”
“You pick the year, and we’ll take a side trip after visiting of the Land of What is Good? What is Bad?”
Gideon and Zacharaias finished their Earth tour of the year 520 BC, and headed for central China and the farm of Wu Li. His was one of several small farms in a fertile river-valley that Wu Li’s family had worked for twenty generations. The emperor allowed them enough food to support themselves, and enough profit for Wu Li to purchase the first horse his family ever owned. At forty years of age, Wu Li was growing old, for in the year 520 BC the average life span rarely exceeded forty-five years. Likewise his horse, a gray mare in her twen¬tieth year, was also growing old. Other than his eighteen-year-old son, who was his only living heir, the gray mare was Wu Li’s most prized possession. His wife died the year before, and in those days wives were possessions.
Zack explained all of this to Gideon as they approached Wu Li’s farm under the glow of a full moon. Despite the moon’s radiance the stars glistened brighter than the sun after leaving the darkness of a noon matinee. His heart ached at the recognition that his parents’ generation and the few preceding it succeeded in spewing enough poison into the atmosphere to change the heavens from the brilliance of a 100-watt bulb to that of a 15-watt night-light. Zacharaias drew him out of his thoughts by directing his attention to a small corral where Wu Li kept his beloved gray mare.
The corral was larger than necessary for one old horse, but Wu Li’s love for the mare overrode the more practical considerations of maintaining a lone horse on the Emperor’s land. The more land devoted to keeping the horse, the less land available for farming. When Wu Li built the corral large enough for ten horses his neighbors told him it was a bad thing to devote so much land to a single horse. Wu Li responded by saying, “Who knows what is good and what is bad?”
The fencing of the corral was weathered and weak. Time and its allies, the weather, the sun, and the insects, joined forces to soften the once strong wood planking. Gideon noticed Wu Li’s horse scratching its withers against a single creaking cross-beam that snapped under the pressure. The bony old mare stood there at first, not knowing what to do with her newly found freedom. Once the taller grasses outside her enclosure caught her attention however, she was quick to leave the familiar confinement of her corral.
“Isn’t there anything we can do, Zack?” Gideon asked, surprised at his willingness to help.
“We are here to observe and to learn. There is nothing we can do.”
Wu Li woke with the morning’s light and was quick to discover his loss. To Gideon’s surprise he seemed unconcerned. By mid-day word of Wu Li’s great loss spread throughout the valley, and his neighbor came offering his condolences. Chou Lo was ten years younger than the graying Wu Li, and decades less wise, for indeed, all in the valley considered Wu Li a sage.
“I’ve come to offer my condolences, Wu Li,” Chou Lo said. “Such a terrible loss. Just terrible.”
Wu Li continued working his field in silence, thinking about Chou Lo’s words before he spoke. “Who knows what is good and what is bad, Chou Lo? Surely I do not.”
Chou Lo scratched his head. Certainly, he thought, Wu Li must be losing his mind, for everyone knows that the loss of a horse is a bad thing. He said good-bye, and walked the mile back to his farm.
Wu Li was grateful to have his strong son by his side, for without the old gray mare he would not have been able to complete the day’s work alone. He might have been able to in his younger days, but certainly not now. The hard day’s work was better than any modern-day sleeping pill, and that night Wu Li and his son slept more soundly than ever before.
As Wu Li rose the next morning from his bamboo mat he heard strange noises coming from the recently vacated corral. He shook his son awake, and out they went to investigate. Any other man would have trumpeted Wu Li’s discovery throughout the valley. His son was not surprised at his father’s reaction upon discovering the return of his beloved mare, along with nine wild young horses.
“They must have followed the old mare home, Father,” the son said excitedly. “What good fortune.”
Wu Li turned slowly to his beaming son. “Who knows what is good and what is bad? Repair the corral, my son. There is much work to be done.”
Again word spread quickly through the fertile valley, this time of Wu Li’s exceptionally good luck. Surely the Gods were pleased with Wu Li, they thought, for only the gods could have bestowed such a boon.
The new horses were useless however, until they were broken and trained. To Wu Li’s son fell this most difficult task, a chore he had no familiarity with. However, having great common sense, inherited from his father, he chose the smallest of the herd of nine to train first. But even a small horse is far stronger than a big man. In no time Wu Li’s son was thrown against the corral fence and landed with such force that his right arm snapped on impact. This was a disaster, for Wu Li would be sorely pressed to keep up the farm until his son’s recovery, a fact not unknown by his neighbor, Chou Lo.
As usual, when such events occur, word spread of the disaster that befell poor Wu Li, like burning prairie grass. His neighbor, Chou Lo, once again came bearing condolences.
“Excuse me for being so bold, Wu Li,” Chou Lo began, “but this is most horrendous. Yes, most horrendous indeed. You are old, and now you have no help with the farm. If you cannot keep up your quota, the Emperor’s tax collector will throw you to the dogs. Yes. This is very bad, very bad indeed.”
Wu Li smiled, and his eyes twinkled knowingly. “Chou Lo,” he said, “I have told you this truth before, yet you insist upon seeing everything as good or bad. I will tell you again that it is all mixed together. Who knows what is good and what is bad?"
Chou Lo shook his head and looked at his neighbor Wu Li as though his brains just exited his body through his ears. “If you need help,” he said, “I can spare you my number-three son. You are my friend even though I think you are crazy sometimes.”
“Thank you, Chou Lo. You are a good friend. I will call on number three son if I can no longer do for myself. You must excuse me now, for there is much work to be done by this old man.”
Chou Lo began his trek home, wondering how there could be any good in the broken arm of Wu Li’s son. The answer came the next day. While Wu Li with his two arms and old body, and his son with his one arm and young body were tending the fields they spied in the distance a cloud of dust. Slowly, at the pace of a walking man, the cloud of dust approached the two laborers. By the time the cloud was within half a mile of Wu Li and his son, they knew it was the Emperor’s army on the march. They also knew the army was looking for conscripts to fill its depleted ranks.
A captain of the guard rode up to them on a black steed, twice the size of the old gray mare.
He towered above Wu Li and his son, while his mount stomped its feet and snorted his disdain. “In the name of our glorious emperor you are commanded forthwith to present your sons for service in the army of the realm.” With a disgusted look the captain eyed the old man and his crippled son.
“I have only one son,” Wu Li said, “and he stands here by my side.”
“The army has no use for a one-armed man,” the captain said, spitting at the feet of Wu Li, and turning his attention to the corral and the ten horses. “In your son’s stead the army will take your herd of horses. I will send my men to gather them. Good day.”
As the surly captain was about to ride off he hesitated, remembering tales of a sage that had nine young horses and one old gray mare. Knowing that life in battle was at best tenuous he turned back to the old farmer. “I have a question for you, old man, and if you can answer it to my satisfaction you may keep your old nag.”
Wu Li bowed gracefully before the captain who asked, “before I go into battle with my enemies I wish you to teach me about heaven and hell.”
Wu Li looked up at the captain and spit on the ground. “How dare you, of all people, ask me to teach you about heaven and hell. You are a filthy bully, with blood on your sword. You stink. You make me want to retch on the ground from the smell of you. I, teach you of heaven and hell? Why, I doubt that I could teach a lout like you anything. Now get your body out of my sight!”
The captain was stunned that any man would speak to him in such a fashion, let alone such a small and insignificant peasant. His fury rose to a pitch beyond his control. He was speechless with rage and drew his bloody sword and raised it above his head in preparation to slay the wise old farmer.
As his arms began their descent Wu Li looked up and said softly, “That is hell.”
The sword ceased its downward arch as the captain heard and then understood Wu Li’s meaning. He was overwhelmed at the sacrifice Wu Li was willing to make to show him the meaning of hell, and his heart filled with compassion and gratitude. He was finally at peace.
“And,” Wu Li said, about to finish the teaching, “that is heaven.”
The old gray mare was left in the corral, and Wu Li smiled as the captain sped back to his men, who within a fortnight, would all be killed in a bloody battle. “Who knows what is good and what is bad?” Wu Li said as the captain disappeared over the nearest hill.
* * *
“Do you remember the morning after the ice storm?” Zack asked as he and Gideon whisked around the Earth of 520 BC one last time.
“Yes,” Gideon replied. “It seems if I put my attention to it I can remember everything that ever happened to me. Why is that?”
“Because in this form you are no longer bound by your beliefs. In your physical form you believe you are separate and that your knowledge and memory are finite.
“But, getting back to the ice storm, you were complaining to Simon how lucky he was and how unfair life was to you. Do you remember?”
“Yes. Simon told me I always see the dark side of things, and then used the ice storm as an example of how one event, the ice storm, could be both bad and good. He said he almost got killed driving home in it the night before, but that in the light of day it transformed into a thing of great beauty.”
“Sometimes,” Zack said, “the dark side or the light side of an event chooses not to show its face for many years, and only by looking back in retrospect can one see the opposite aspect. You can be sure, however, that if you pay attention there is meaning in everything. Good and bad is relative to the perceiver in the moment.”
“When does the bad rise out of the good?” Gideon asked.