The following example was derived from
session 1404 of the Elias transcripts.
Louie is a
control freak and so is his brother, Dewey. Their uncle Donald, who is a ducky kind of guy, has told them that despite appearances they are always in control. Louie has been feeling lately that he’d like to let go of his control issues as he suspects they are limiting him from creating what he wants. Realizing that Uncle Donald has been around the pond a few times he seeks his advice.
Uncle Donald questions Louie and finds that many times Louie wants to do what Dewey suggests, but he is so stuck in his attachment to control that he doesn’t do it because Dewy suggested it. Louie wants to feel connected to Dewy and to others, but the need to control blocks his desire. Uncle Donald has spoken to Louie before about this and reminds him that he has turned his belief in control into an
absolute and has moved into incorporating that belief as a truth. Uncle Donald tells Louie that beliefs, in and of themselves, are not bad and that his truth – his belief in control – actually serves him well in many situations. Louie’s truths, not just the truth of control, have been chosen in alignment with his
intent and
value fulfillment and as such contain many of his preferences. Some of Louie’s expressions of control he will view as beneficial and some he will view as limiting.
Uncle Donald reminds Louie that certain behaviors of his, such as planning, being aware of his goals, organization and general movement throughout his day , Louie
finds as beneficial and that he should not just try to shitcan (Uncle Donald is a colorful guy) the belief. Donald reinforces the idea that Louie’s beliefs, especially his
truths, are not his enemy. He tells Louie it is not the belief itself (control) that creates his problem, but rather how he manipulates energy that is associated with this belief in control. Louie needs to pay
attention to what his belief in control influences, like not implementing Dewey’s suggestion simply because Dewey suggested it. This would be a negative influence of the belief and as such Louie could choose differently in the moment it arises if he pays attention to himself.
Uncle Donald tells Louie that he does not create Dewey’s reality; but that he does create his own reality. In this, Louie has choices whenever he interacts, not only with Dewy, but with any other individual. Louie looks confused and so Uncle Donald tells him that Dewey projects his energy toward Louie, but since Louie creates his own reality he can do whatever he wants with Dewey’s projected energy. This includes reconfiguring Dewey’s energy in any way that aligns with Louie’s preferences. When Louie projects his attention to Dewey, who is projecting control, and Louie’s energy is also projected in control then Louie is setting up an expectation that he wants to control Dewey. This, Uncle Donald tells him, sets him up for disappointment for he does not create Dewey’s reality. Louie only creates his own reality. Louie’s only action is how he RECEIVES Dewey’s projected energy, for he cannot determine or control how Dewey will project. That is Dewey’s choice.
What
IS Louie’s choice is how he receives Dewey’s projected energy. How he receives it will determine how Louie responds to Dewey. Louie tells his uncle that he experiences Dewey as trying to control or maneuver him, but he fights it
because it is he who wants to control and maneuver Dewey. Uncle Donald asks Louie what he wants in the moment that Dewey is projecting his energy. Louie replies that he wants Dewey to stop being so bossy, but even more than that he wants a real interaction where they flow freely. Uncle Donald reminds Louie that it is he who creates his own reality and that it is he who has the choice to manipulate Dewey’s projected energy in any way he desires. This is his
REAL control.
Uncle Donald then tells Louie that the way he can create a free flowing interaction with Dewey begins with a genuine
appreciation of both himself and Dewey. Louie doesn’t have to appreciate what Dewey is projecting, for often he is projecting control, which Louie doesn’t like. Appreciation, Donald reminds Louie, is a component of Love, where each individual appreciates the reality of the other and that although their directions in life may be different they are both of Essence and as such are connected. On a more practical level Donald tells Louie that in the moment he begins to feel conflict with Dewey he should move his attention to notice just one thing that he appreciates about Dewey and himself. He should then express that appreciation, which will reconfigure the energy. The appreciation moves Louie’s attention and it alters his perception. Since perception projects our reality, then reality itself is altered.
As Louie allows Dewey’s energy to approach, he holds it at a distance because he rejects it. He perceives Dewey’s energy as a command that requires him to respond in a certain manner. Louie therefore blocks the projected energy of Dewey and doesn’t allow himself to receive or RECONFIGURE the energy. To receive Dewey’s energy, Uncle
Donald tells him, he must be open to it, or as Donald describes it, Louie must be exposed. Louie feels this would be a negative aspect of his truth or his belief in control. Exposure to Louie means giving up control. Donald corrects Louie by telling him that in order to receive energy he must be open to it or otherwise Louie creates a shield. Rather than becoming a window, Louie’s energy field becomes a shield. He can't reconfigure energy he is not open to receiving.
Individuals naturally repel any projected energy that acts as a command to do something they either want to do or don’t want to do, especially if control is one of their truths. This is because every individual knows in the deepest part of themselves that they absolutely
Do direct their own actions. Conflict arises when an individual allows another to direct their choices. When this happens Louie reacts rather than evaluates. Uncle Donald gives Louie an example of how he would probably react to Dewey if Dewey suggested they go for a walk in the woods. “I can picture it now,” Donald says. There you would be, wanting to walk in the woods with Dewey, but saying to yourself, “I must be in control. I’m not going to allow Dewey to suggest anything that I want to do. If any suggesting is going to be made, it’s going to be made by me. I refuse to enjoy the woods with Dewey even though it causes me conflict not to do so.” Louie laughs because he knows Uncle Donald is right on the mark.
Even though Dewey offered the invitation in genuine affection, Louie didn’t take it
in that way. There are other times that Dewey is being commanding, but not this time. Donald reminds Louie to be aware of his own energy and how Dewey’s energy is being projected. Is it genuine or is it commanding? The main indicator, however, is Louie’s own energy. If Louie notices twinges that trigger the onset of conflict, irritation or anxiety then these are the indicators that he is generating some expression within himself. It is this internal expression that Louie needs to evaluate. It is this evaluation that will provide Louie with the information necessary to determine what he is responding to within himself and also give him a clearer picture of the energy that Dewey projects. Louie’s
freedom lies in his paying attention to himself, for it is always energy that he responds to, his own and Dewey’s.
Finally Uncle Donald reminds Louie that he is a young man of great passion and holds the capacity for connected interaction and affection. He tells Louie to drop his shield and to expose himself, for in his exposure lies his freedom. The exposure allows free expression, and in that open energy, which is projected outward, it will be recognized by others. They wish the same openness and freedom, and naturally draw themselves to those that express it.
Bill Marshall
P.S. I encourage you to take a look at my new book,
The Forgotten Self. You can check it out in either the
UK or the
US.
