January 2008 - Posts

Personal Responsibility
I don’t know of a single person who, at one time or another, hasn’t felt responsible for another human being. In particular we feel responsible for our children, but we also feel responsible for the feelings our actions may create in others. I want to talk about personal responsibility, but I am going to do it by rephrasing part of an Elias transcript (session 593) and adding some of my own thoughts.

The issue of personal responsibility involves turning your attention away from yourself and onto the creations/experiences of someone else, usually someone you
think needs fixing. In turning your attention onto them you assume responsibility for their reality. We camouflage this action of personal responsibility by calling it caring, compassion, sympathy, helpfulness, guidance and love. We, as good individuals, wish to offer help and support to those we feel are in need. What we are really saying is that the individual that we are feeling responsible toward is not capable of creating their reality as well as I can create it for him. In other words, they make bad choices. Most of us in our actions of personal responsibility for others feel that our fixing a part of someone else’s reality will make their lives better and happier.

Now, we may say to ourselves: “I create my own reality and others create their reality,” but the underlying belief is quite different, and it is our actions that express the underlying belief. Put another way, what we do will reveal the operative belief. What we really believe is that we create our reality some of the time and others create their reality some of the time, but we know what is best for them. It works the other way as well. We believe that others can create our reality at times without our permission. This is the expression of victim.

It is important that we understand what assuming personal responsibility for others really is and how often we do it. We do it all the time. Assuming personal responsibility for others dooms us to failure. We fail because it is impossible for us to create anyone’s reality other than our own. Not only can we not create another’s reality, we cannot even influence another’s reality without their agreement. That agreement can be either subjective (what we call unconscious) or objective (what we call conscious), but without that agreement we will have no influence. If you lock your child in his room to keep him from hitting the streets to buy drugs and he stays in his room because he can’t get out, it is not you who has kept him in his room. It is him. He has subjectively agreed with you and has objectively created his own locked door. If he wasn’t in subjective agreement he would objectively be out on the streets. It looks like you created his reality, but
without his subjective agreement he’d be snorting a line of coke. What this means is that our influence is based upon the choice of another to receive our influence. This is not done by thought although at times it seems as though thought has decided to agree. If you’ve read some of my posts you understand that thought interprets and does not create.

All of this represents the power of choice, and choice is never denied. This is what we call free will and it is an innate element of each of us. Now, since underlying this reality is the reality of non-separation then each time we express personal responsibility for another we are simultaneously discounting ourselves. When we discount another in their ability to create their own reality we are discounting ourselves.
The rest of this post are some thoughts I have on what I just interpreted Elias as saying. Not taking personal responsibility for someone else does not mean we subjugate our natural inclination toward compassion. Compassion is defined as understanding without judgment. It is acceptance through understanding that individuals create perfectly within their intent and value fulfillment. Understanding without judgment facilitates the expression of love. So how can we be compassionate without taking personal responsibility for the person we are feeling compassionate toward; be it husband, wife, child, friend or any of the billions of the down-and-outers? We do it by following our preferences and our individual guidelines without holding any expectations as to the outcome. For instance, it is part of my guidelines to provide financial support to my children until they are through with college. I don’t expect their gratitude, although I seem to get it. I don’t expect them to do anything with their education other than what they desire to do with it. If they ask my advice I give it, but without any expectation that they will follow my advice. I am not responsible for their feelings, just as they are not responsible for mine. We may trigger each other’s feelings, but we are not responsible for them. To think otherwise would make each of us victims of each other.

Expectations regarding outcomes often block the outcome we desire. Remember how you felt when you gave a gift and didn’t receive a thank you? When you give a buck to a panhandler do you hope he will spend it wisely? If so, then this is an expectation. I give because it makes me feel good. This is my preference. There are no strings attached to my compassion. I require nothing for it. Worry and guilt are not a part of compassion, but can be a large part of taking personal responsibility for someone else. So, be compassionate without expectations, but eliminate your tendency to take personal responsibility for others. Follow your own guideline and preferences, while holding no one else to the ones you follow. I think you will be quite surprised at the outcome of such a change in your behavior.
Bill Marshall
Posted 30 January 08 02:11 from 21st Century Reality | 2 Comments   
Coffee
This appeared in the news on 1/21/2008. “Drinking a couple cups of coffee a day has long been considered safe during pregnancy, but a new study finds that even this modest amount of coffee could double a woman’s risk of miscarriage.”

So, what choices do we have when confronted with this kind of information? If we don’t drink coffee it doesn’t impact us at all, but if you are a woman, pregnant and a coffee fanatic then this kind of info probably gave you the shakes. It seems to me that science has made virtually everything hazardous to our health and when everything is hazardous we all become the infamous Seinfeld bubble boy, or we decide that the science can’t be right. We live in an age where cause-and-effect is king, and have therefore taken on as truth all that science tells us. It becomes an absolute, and as an absolute we don’t question it. This is why the pregnant coffee-lover trembles at such headlines. This is why we wash our hands forty-two times and day and this is why we allow fingers and probes to explore our asses and vaginas. We allow this because of our beliefs, which we hold as absolutes, or as our scientists tell us, facts. Put more simply, we believe that facts are truths.

It is a fact for most of us that we can be attacked by bacteria and by viruses. It is a fact that too much of this or too little of that can affect our bodies in myriad ways. It is a fact that if you drink Drano your plumbing system is going to be in for a rough ride. These facts, or beliefs-held-in-the-absolute as I like to refer to them, are not illusions. Down a shot glass full of Drano and you’ll know real quick. It is our belief in these facts that either keep us away from dangerous situations, like drinking Drano, or make us victims to others, like viruses or bacteria or mutating cells. But, you may have noticed if you’ve been keeping up with my blog, that I’m a pretty big proponent of the I’m-not-a victim thing.

When we catch a cold most of us see ourselves as the victim of the cold virus. When I catch a cold I see it as my creation. We all get colds, but I’ll bet you a cup of coffee (pregnant women excluded) that mine will last half as long as yours as long as you see yourself as a victim of the cold virus. My last cold lasted 2 days and was very mild. I think I created it so that I could show myself how quickly I could get rid of it. See, that is the difference between being a victim of one’s reality and creating one’s reality. There is information about me in every experience I create. For me life has become a game and the game includes all of the emotions we currently experience. And I must say, that it feels great not blaming someone or something for both the good things and the bad things that I experience. Notice that I didn’t say, ‘happens to me.’ When you realize that you create it all then nothing HAPPENS to you. Everything becomes choice. Then it becomes important to understand how you choose, because thought does not choose. But before any of this can take place a remake of our notions regarding who we are has to begin.

If you believe that facts are immutable cosmic truths then I advise all pregnant women who love coffee to stop drinking it if you want to reduce your risk of miscarriage. If you believe that facts are beliefs held as absolutes then you have a choice if you are pregnant and love coffee. Identify the beliefs, accept them (there’s going to be many more than one) and then choose. Remember, acceptance means no judgment. Many who read my blog already understand choice, but many others don’t. Those others argue that we create some things, but not all things. I understand why
you hold this position, because I held it once myself. But, it was all the questions that arose while holding that position that led me to where I am now. Choice and a self-created reality works for me and I understand quite well that I am part of a distinctly small minority in my thinking. Maybe I write these posts to gain some company, but I mainly write them because I like to. I hope you like them as well. And remember, you can like something without agreeing with it.
Bill Marshall
Posted 25 January 08 09:42 from 21st Century Reality | 0 Comments   
The Chooser
Choice is a big word that carries some big weight. What bigger freedom is there than the freedom to choose? But what is it, exactly, that chooses. Historically we have given the honor of choosing to the conscious mind. That is to say that if we did not consciously choose what happens to us then what happened to us was not through choice. The thinking goes that if I stub my toe it was certainly not through choice. I did not say to myself before stubbing my toe: “Hey, I’m going to stub my toe on the leg of that chair.” Who in their right mind would consciously stub their toe? Who in their right mind would choose cancer? Rationally speaking it makes complete sense that no one would choose cancer. No one would choose a dysfunctional relationship. No one would choose any of the myriad forms of unpleasantness that seems to befall all of us. But our understanding of choice is based on a couple of things; the most important of which is our definition of consciousness. How we understand the mechanism of choice is also based on our understanding of ourselves; who we are and where have we come from. Throw in our current understanding of reality and it is no wonder that we think we choose some of the things in our lives, but certainly not all of the things. We create some of our reality, but certainly not all of it.

One of the definitions of being conscious is to be capable of thought, will, or perception. Thought is defined as the act, process, or power of thinking. Call me skeptical, but this sure seems to put consciousness in a tiny little box, just as tiny as the box we put ourselves in. Certainly our entry into this world was not by choice. Right? We didn’t choose our parents. Right? Who we are was the result of chance; the random joining of just one of millions of sperm cells with an egg. Certainly the egg and the sperm are not conscious, although it does almost seem as if the egg consciously chooses the one sperm it allows into its hallowed inner sanctum, thereby producing our physical form. So who are we and where do we come from? Are we the result of a coincidental joining of
one sperm and one egg. Science says we are. To what purpose are we thrown randomly into the world of form and matter? Could it be that our greatest misconception is our understanding of consciousness itself? Is consciousness only contained within the gray matter of the human brain, or is the human brain merely our conduit through which consciousness expresses itself in the human body? In my view the brain is much like our TV sets. The images are not produced in the set. The TV merely configures the images sent from elsewhere.

And what about reality? Is your perception of reality more right than mine? Do our dreams pierce
a veil that keeps other realities at bay while we are awake? Or, are our dreams nothing more than mind residue as our scientists like to tell us. Science loves to break down and separate and put things into categories. We have an ego, a conscious mind and a rather large unconscious mind. But since we believe that consciousness is created by matter and that it exists within matter we have placed it in a far back seat on the bus. You can’t drive the bus from the back seat. So, when it comes to choice there is no way we can conceive of choice except volitionally through the conscious mind. When we hold this understanding of consciousness and choice we can be nothing but victims whenever thought does not choose.

The way we understand consciousness and choice makes it impossible for us to move into total self-responsibility and acceptance of what it is we do create. Our understanding prevents us from trusting that what we do create in each moment is part of a process that gets us to what we want. The process may not be what we expect, but through trusting whatever the process brings we will manifest what it is we want. I had set a goal of running the Marine Corp Marathon (26.2 miles) in October 2007 with my three buddies. My training was going well (according to expectations) until July, when I tore my right calf muscle. I was reduced to walking and using an elliptical trainer. I’d run some but if I pushed things my calf would tear again. This part was not according to expectation and I began to doubt that I would be able to run the marathon. After all, who could run a marathon by training on an elliptical? I knew I chose the calf tear (yes, I’m in my right mind), but I had moved out of the trust mode because this process of a torn calf and elliptical training had never led me to a successful marathon before.

But then I got it. I created a challenge for myself and I was not trusting the method of accomplishing the goal. From that point on (about a month before the marathon) I trusted the process – torn calf, elliptical and all – and knew I would finish the marathon. There was no doubt. I was not a victim of poor biomechanics, or bad luck or even myself. I chose everything that happened on my way to finishing the marathon. Yes, I chose it, but not by way of thought. Thought is not the chooser. Thought interprets that which is chosen. Consciousness is the who, what and where of who each of us is, and it ain’t stuck in the brain. You are the chooser whether you like it or not.
Once you own that you become free. Freedom is a very nice feeling.

Bill Marshall
Posted 10 January 08 11:19 from 21st Century Reality | 2 Comments