The Chooser

Choice is a big word that carries some big weight. What bigger freedom is there than the freedom to choose? But what is it, exactly, that chooses. Historically we have given the honor of choosing to the conscious mind. That is to say that if we did not consciously choose what happens to us then what happened to us was not through choice. The thinking goes that if I stub my toe it was certainly not through choice. I did not say to myself before stubbing my toe: “Hey, I’m going to stub my toe on the leg of that chair.” Who in their right mind would consciously stub their toe? Who in their right mind would choose cancer? Rationally speaking it makes complete sense that no one would choose cancer. No one would choose a dysfunctional relationship. No one would choose any of the myriad forms of unpleasantness that seems to befall all of us. But our understanding of choice is based on a couple of things; the most important of which is our definition of consciousness. How we understand the mechanism of choice is also based on our understanding of ourselves; who we are and where have we come from. Throw in our current understanding of reality and it is no wonder that we think we choose some of the things in our lives, but certainly not all of the things. We create some of our reality, but certainly not all of it.

One of the definitions of being conscious is to be capable of thought, will, or perception. Thought is defined as the act, process, or power of thinking. Call me skeptical, but this sure seems to put consciousness in a tiny little box, just as tiny as the box we put ourselves in. Certainly our entry into this world was not by choice. Right? We didn’t choose our parents. Right? Who we are was the result of chance; the random joining of just one of millions of sperm cells with an egg. Certainly the egg and the sperm are not conscious, although it does almost seem as if the egg consciously chooses the one sperm it allows into its hallowed inner sanctum, thereby producing our physical form. So who are we and where do we come from? Are we the result of a coincidental joining of
one sperm and one egg. Science says we are. To what purpose are we thrown randomly into the world of form and matter? Could it be that our greatest misconception is our understanding of consciousness itself? Is consciousness only contained within the gray matter of the human brain, or is the human brain merely our conduit through which consciousness expresses itself in the human body? In my view the brain is much like our TV sets. The images are not produced in the set. The TV merely configures the images sent from elsewhere.

And what about reality? Is your perception of reality more right than mine? Do our dreams pierce
a veil that keeps other realities at bay while we are awake? Or, are our dreams nothing more than mind residue as our scientists like to tell us. Science loves to break down and separate and put things into categories. We have an ego, a conscious mind and a rather large unconscious mind. But since we believe that consciousness is created by matter and that it exists within matter we have placed it in a far back seat on the bus. You can’t drive the bus from the back seat. So, when it comes to choice there is no way we can conceive of choice except volitionally through the conscious mind. When we hold this understanding of consciousness and choice we can be nothing but victims whenever thought does not choose.

The way we understand consciousness and choice makes it impossible for us to move into total self-responsibility and acceptance of what it is we do create. Our understanding prevents us from trusting that what we do create in each moment is part of a process that gets us to what we want. The process may not be what we expect, but through trusting whatever the process brings we will manifest what it is we want. I had set a goal of running the Marine Corp Marathon (26.2 miles) in October 2007 with my three buddies. My training was going well (according to expectations) until July, when I tore my right calf muscle. I was reduced to walking and using an elliptical trainer. I’d run some but if I pushed things my calf would tear again. This part was not according to expectation and I began to doubt that I would be able to run the marathon. After all, who could run a marathon by training on an elliptical? I knew I chose the calf tear (yes, I’m in my right mind), but I had moved out of the trust mode because this process of a torn calf and elliptical training had never led me to a successful marathon before.

But then I got it. I created a challenge for myself and I was not trusting the method of accomplishing the goal. From that point on (about a month before the marathon) I trusted the process – torn calf, elliptical and all – and knew I would finish the marathon. There was no doubt. I was not a victim of poor biomechanics, or bad luck or even myself. I chose everything that happened on my way to finishing the marathon. Yes, I chose it, but not by way of thought. Thought is not the chooser. Thought interprets that which is chosen. Consciousness is the who, what and where of who each of us is, and it ain’t stuck in the brain. You are the chooser whether you like it or not.
Once you own that you become free. Freedom is a very nice feeling.

Bill Marshall